Remove Love Bites

June 14th, 2003

“How do you get rid of love bites?”


Sophia Wise

Liam’s Advice

When I was a kid, I heard a rumour that if you rub toothpaste into the love bite, it helps cover it up.

The theory is that it bleaches the skin a bit, making the bruise less obvious.

The reality is you just get a minty smelling neck.

The last place you want the Colgate ring of confidence is around your throat. It really chokes.

I found the best way to hide a love bite is to always keep your lover’s lips attached to your neck, that way their head always obscures the view.

This can be a bit awkward in class. However, what’s likely is that the teacher kicks both of you out for misbehaving. Then you can pash in the corridor until the end of the period.

Chris’ Advice

Love bites are large, unsightly bruises caused after the capillaries in the neck are broken when sucked upon too vigorously.

The best way to avoid them is to only snog people who are over the age of 15.

However, that’s not foolproof. Occasionally, no matter how careful we are, we all end up with a huge hickey.

Here’s the best way to get rid of it in a hurry. Get some acid and rub it into the love bite. This will give you a very nasty burn, which the doctor at the hospital will put a bandage on. This will cover the bandage, and no one will ever guess you’ve had a hickey.

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