“I have a stalker who won’t go away. I know who he is. But he doesn’t understand that I DON’T love him and however desperate I am, I’m not going to go out with him.
What do you guys recommend for me to get rid of him?”
Ali Zim
Liam’s Answer
I would love a stalker. Someone you know will love you forever, no matter what you do or say. Unconditional love in its purest form.
Just like a lover, but with an unstated subtext of violence and insanity.
Sadly, the closest I’ve got to having a stalker is some bloke who claims to be the eldest son of the late Henri Tobo Kabongo (a foremost human rights activist in the Democratic Republic of Congo), who keeps asking me to help him get $21 million out of Nigeria by me giving him my bank account details.
I sent them off, he took my cash, and I never heard from him again.
So my advice is to give your stalker your credit cards, and a note that says “go for it”.
Get Rid Of Stalker
