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General Gerbil Dildo Embarassment

My mom found my Gerbil shaped dildo how would i explain this to her?? It a long skinny pole cause you stick it up your butt and at the end of the pole it has Gerbil shaped thing on it... How do I explain this to her?

Ashley Rodger

Chris' Answer

It sounds like you’re in a tricky situation, Ashley. I definitely think you do not want to explain it to her the same way you have explained it to us. So lets find some alternatives.

  • You are planning to put on a puppet show featuring Roger the Gerbil.
  • The gerbil is the new mascot for the Beijing Olympics.
  • You found a gerbil in your pants and tried to get him out with a stick.
  • It’s a device for scaring away other gerbils.
  • You were trying to give a gerbil an enema and it went horribly wrong.

Hopefully one of these excuses will distract your mother from the idea that the gerbil on a stick that she found has recently been in your butt.

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January 2008


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