Gorskys School For Genetic Mutants

Name

Mutation

Description

Darren McFarlane

Keyism

Unusual magnetic power that allows the mutant to always know where the car keys are.

Dannell Lites

X-Filesism

Ability to push a good idea too far.

Rogue Le Beau

Sickieism

Ability to fall ill on any given sunny day.

Richard de Visser

Completely Normal

You are completely normal, and will therefore die in the forthcoming war against the mutants. Sorry.

Robert Vanderbelt

Gore-Bush Syndrome

Heightened sense of difference. The smallest, most inconsequential disagreement will cause the sufferer to spend millions on smear advertising.

Dave Berdan

Wildfire Syndrome

Your farts can spontaneously combust.

Nicholas Terwoord

Jingleism

Ability to recall any advertising jingle aired in the last 20 years.

daignan olivier

Antijesusism

Ability to turn wine into water.

stephen vale

Canineism

Ability to lick your own genitals

Fraser Cameron

Technoism

Enhanced inner ear gives you the power to know when one techno song has stopped and another started, so you can have a break

Brett Davis

Whittneyhouston Syndrome

Genetic abnormality that allows sufferer to watch The Bodyguard without throwing up.

Zardraa Innisfree

Crazyeightism

Decision making powers are correct only at random.

Katrina Van Tassel

Soapoperaism

The ability to make everything last fovever.

Matthew Ford

Smellovision

Ability to see smells.

Dan Wilson

ID4ism

Abilty to suspend your disbelief in bad movies.

Christopher Admire

Snoopdoggy-dooism

Secret innate power to detect dog turds.

Ralph Tetta

Smellovision

Ability to see smells.

Occy McCahari

Doggy-dooattractism

Innate power to stand in the only dog turd on any given footpath.

ross broad

Completely Normal

You are completely normal, and will therefore die in the forthcoming war against the mutants. Sorry.

Kyle Honning

Completely Normal

You are completely normal, and will therefore die in the forthcoming war against the mutants. Sorry.

Keith Moriarty

Smellovision

Ability to see smells.

Matthew Brenner

Pamelaandersonism

Power to manipulate your own breast size.

John Lester

Doggy-dooism

Innate power to avoid standing in dog turds

Angela Ferguson

Americanism

Inability to walk out of your house without a hand gun.

Rosario Porpora

Jenniferannistonism

Hair folicles are enhanced to always appear perfectly styled.

yvind Bjugan

Sickieism

Ability to fall ill on any given sunny day.

William York

Canineism

Ability to lick your own genitals

Samantha McCullah

Idealism

Abnormality of the mind where the afflicted thinks the world is perfect. Common.

lia decker

Paranism

Extremely sensitive hearing that allows you to hear what anyone is saying about you.

Andrew Drake

Technoism

Enhanced inner ear gives you the power to know when one techno song has stopped and another started, so you can have a break

Brad Sloan

Tasteism

A sense of taste so heightened, you can actually detect the three molecules of nutrition in a Big Mac.

Jim Miller

Jonniewalkerism

Power to drink your own body weight in alcohol and not feel poorly in the morning.

Chase Lippe

Keyism

Unusual magnetic power that allows the mutant to always know where the car keys are.

Davy Wyllie

Oprahwinfreyism

Ability to change your weight by up to 300% on demand.

Liz Miller

Ultrajesusism

Ability to turn loaves and fishes into pizza marinara.

Lee Hale

Wildfire Syndrome

Your farts can spontaneously combust.

Dean Marden

Punctualationism

Power to change traffic lights to green on approach.

cynthia grasso

Completely Normal

You are completely normal, and will therefore die in the forthcoming war against the mutants. Sorry.

Dawnielle Banks

Remotism

Able to change TV channels without leaving the chair.

ron bingham

Jenniferannistonism

Hair folicles are enhanced to always appear perfectly styled.

Ronald Collins

Kevincostnerism

Inability to make a good movie.

Benjamin Matthews

Tasteism

A sense of taste so heightened, you can actually detect the three molecules of nutrition in a Big Mac.

Benjamin Matthews II

Remotism

Able to change TV channels without leaving the chair.

Bethany Murray

Keyism

Unusual magnetic power that allows the mutant to always know where the car keys are.

Vuk Vukovic

Calculism

Power over pocket calculators.

Richard Tomlinson

Jenniferannistonism

Hair folicles are enhanced to always appear perfectly styled.

Elizabeth Wilde

Sickieism

Ability to fall ill on any given sunny day.

Ice Wing

Sickieism

Ability to fall ill on any given sunny day.

Kelvin Kee

Idealism

Abnormality of the mind where the afflicted thinks the world is perfect. Common.

Kerri Gruver

Testicuclarity

What you see as noble selflessness is really just your gonads talking.

Whitney Watson

Keyism

Unusual magnetic power that allows the mutant to always know where the car keys are.

Jason Struss

Keyism

Unusual magnetic power that allows the mutant to always know where the car keys are.

Tim McAtackney

Cheapnightoutism

Drinking water has the same intoxicating effect as beer. Lucky you!

Brett Fox

Calculism

Power over pocket calculators.

Joshua Blankenship

Tasteism

A sense of taste so heightened, you can actually detect the three molecules of nutrition in a Big Mac.

Christopher Lima

Gore-Bush Syndrome

Heightened sense of difference. The smallest, most inconsequential disagreement will cause the sufferer to spend millions on smear advertising.

Lisa McNeil

Jonniewalkerism

Power to drink your own body weight in alcohol and not feel poorly in the morning.

Olga Privman

Jingleism

Ability to recall any advertising jingle aired in the last 20 years.

Brent Jackson

Racism

Ability to predict which horse will win the 5th at Flemington. Usually fatal, as a bookmaker will take out a contract on your life.

Bronwyn Rideout

Oprahwinfreyism

Ability to change your weight by up to 300% on demand.

Jacob Bond

Technoism

Enhanced inner ear gives you the power to know when one techno song has stopped and another started, so you can have a break

Willis Fyke

Completely Normal

You are completely normal, and will therefore die in the forthcoming war against the mutants. Sorry.

Shiva Seecharan

Fatasskinetic

Ability to not move from in front of your TV for days at a time.

Adam Schoenbart

Clintism

Ability to know when a politician is lying. Not a very useful power.

Hanson Le

Paranism

Extremely sensitive hearing that allows you to hear what anyone is saying about you.

Le Troung Thien

Brittneyspears Syndrome

Genetic abnormality that allows sufferer to listen to an entire Brittney Spears album without shooting anyone.

Judius Perez

Pamelaandersonism

Power to manipulate your own breast size.

Erasmo Acosta

Annakournikovaism

Ability to be loved by millions for all the wrong reasons.

Agnes Kenna

Idealism

Abnormality of the mind where the afflicted thinks the world is perfect. Common.

james hazelden

Oprahwinfreyism

Ability to change your weight by up to 300% on demand.

Karilinne Novac

Commerialsim

Ability to sit through an entire episode of 'World's Funniest Ads' without damaging your brain cells.

Chris Munn

Whittneyhouston Syndrome

Genetic abnormality that allows sufferer to watch The Bodyguard without throwing up.

Tara LeBeau

Racism

Ability to predict which horse will win the 5th at Flemington. Usually fatal, as a bookmaker will take out a contract on your life.

Daniel Monson

Antitasteism

A sense of taste so dulled that you actually like airline food.

Ben Perkins

Calculism

Power over pocket calculators.

Xander Summers

Precognitive-tea-makingism

Psychic ability to put the kettle on four minutes before someone pops in for a cup of tea.

Megan Lippitt

Clintism

Ability to know when a politician is lying. Not a very useful power.

Megan Lippitt

Clintism

Ability to know when a politician is lying. Not a very useful power.

Rhiannon Amaris

X-Filesism

Ability to push a good idea too far.

paul villanueva

Technoism

Enhanced inner ear gives you the power to know when one techno song has stopped and another started, so you can have a break

Annabelle Waldron

Videoprogramism

Ability to correctly set you video timer. Extremely rare.

Robbie O'Brien

Racism

Ability to predict which horse will win the 5th at Flemington. Usually fatal, as a bookmaker will take out a contract on your life.

Roberto Tammaro

Canineism

Ability to lick your own genitals

Eva Hynes

X-Filesism

Ability to push a good idea too far.

andy findley

Punctualationism

Power to change traffic lights to green on approach.

mark adam

ID4ism

Abilty to suspend your disbelief in bad movies.

Emma Crewdson

Pamelaandersonism

Power to manipulate your own breast size.

Wendy Dawson

Keyism

Unusual magnetic power that allows the mutant to always know where the car keys are.

Aaron Gruneklee

Random Mesmerism

Ability to randomly recall, or not recall, anything. maybe it happened to you, maybe it didn't - but you remember it!

steven lockey

Completely Normal

You are completely normal, and will therefore die in the forthcoming war against the mutants. Sorry.

William Sager

Russianpresidentism

The ability to sleep through any type of noise or circumstance.

Jennifer Becker

Obscure FanFic Writingism

The ability to create and Post Obcure FanFic stories starring obscure Non-Mutant charcaters!

Tina Kress

Precognitive-tea-makingism

Psychic ability to put the kettle on four minutes before someone pops in for a cup of tea.

Erik Smart

Americanism

Inability to walk out of your house without a hand gun.

Brandi Yantz

Annakournikovaism

Ability to be loved by millions for all the wrong reasons.

Andrew Sharer

Punctualationism

Power to change traffic lights to green on approach.

czar kim

Videoprogramism

Ability to correctly set you video timer. Extremely rare.

Christopher Wibberley

X-Filesism

Ability to push a good idea too far.

Wendy Childress

Punctualationism

Power to change traffic lights to green on approach.

Britney Edgerton

Whittneyhouston Syndrome

Genetic abnormality that allows sufferer to watch The Bodyguard without throwing up.