When you said you liked animals, I didn't think you meant like that.
It’s an increasing phenomenon. More and more people meet and fall in love online. They’ve never met, but there’s an intense emotional bond between them.
One day, it gets too much, and they arrange a secret rendezvous. Sometimes at a bar. More often at a seedy motel, so they can shag like rabbits and really do all those things they’d told each other.
And that’s where reality hits.
Often, your cyber lover isn’t quite as you’d expected.
Don’t express your disappointment, though. There’s no reason to be rude. It’s unlikely you told the complete truth, either, after all.
This month, we look at the things you should avoid saying when first meeting your cyber lover.
- Nice beard. Sue.
- You sure type better than you look.
- You know, I wish life had an undo key.
- I thought you said your body was “average” sized. You never said “for an elephant”.
- Great set of wheels. It’s a pity about the chair.
- Is it OK if I use my laptop to cyber with my Russian mail-order bride while we do it?
- When you said you were ‘fragrant’, I didn’t think it meant you had the worst body odour problem since mankind stopped living in swamps.
- Nice tits, Greg.
- I am a little disappointed that you brought along you husband, yes.
- Well, on reflection, it does make sense that your a fat, pale, pasty geek, yes. You are online 24 hours a day, every day, after all.
- I’m sorry I didn’t mention that I’ve got AIDS. But hey! I’m here now, so let’s shag.
- You’re a lot balder than I imagined, Kathy.
Oh,
sorry.
Usually I try date within my own species.
Hi, glad t…GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH (BREATH)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA………….
Hey baby did you just fart? Because you just blew me away.
This is a great spot. Nobody’s around. It’s so seculuded, it’s almost romantic. Can you hold this rope for me, so I can get the duct tape out, darlin?
You ARE the weakest link. Good-bye!
Hey I’m supposed to meat a hottie right here in a minute – have you seen her?
Wow, you must be really good with that computer program that edits digital pictures.
I want to feel your sweet embrace, but don’t take that paper bag off your face.
You won’t want me i’m Over Age
Yeah, I had that once….but the crabs ate it off!!
I think this relationship is going to work a whole lot better if you just go to the ladies room and put your panties in your purse, and THEN we can talk.
You are grounded, Mister!
Mom, am I grounded?
“I’d rather bang your grandma.”
Holy shit grandpa, your alive!
Got a match? I have, your face and my arse!
Oh Shit! Hi Mom!
When you said you starred in REsIdEnT eViL I didn`t think you meant yiu were a flesh eating zombie.
You never told me your face looked like a pair of startled buttocks.
Actually the scientific name for your medical condition is “Zactley’s disease”. Your head looks zactley same as your arse.
Its funny, I saw on the News last night they were looking for a guy that escaped from the State Prison, and he looked remarkably like you. Especially since your wearing that orange jumpsuit. Isnt that funny?
Oh yeah? I’m supposed to meet up with someone really hot too! Maybe they’re running late.
Wanna fuck?
What the devil are you!?!?!
I’m glad I got a backup at Marriagepact.com
Is that a mirco-soft in your pocket, or are you ‘NOT’ glad to see me?
I thought you were one of the Village People.
Listen, Sarah, you won’t tell Mum and Dad if i won’t, right?
This was a lot easier when I didn’t have to see your conjoined twin.
“I think I made a typing error…”