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Get Into A Nightclub When You're Under-age
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Terrence & Spider - two bouncers it's worth getting to know. Check them out in
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It's tough being a kid. All the fun's being had inside the nightclub, but you're not allowed in just because of those pesky underage drinking laws.
Well, don't let that stop you. This month, we offer some useful advice on how to party like a grown up, even if you're not.
- If you're 16, hold your ID upside down, and pass yourself off as 91.
- An internet year is the equivalent of seven in the real world, so every hour on ICQ is the equivalent of a day in real life. This means the average web-addicted teenager is really 43.
- Confuse the bouncer. When he asks your age, just give him your birthdate, and let him do the math.
- It's best to use wit and intelligence to get past the bouncer, but sometimes $20 will do.
- Pay nine 13 year olds to line up in for the club in front of you - they'll get knocked back for being so young; you'll look old in comparison, and be let right in.
- Never having kissed anybody is a clue you're young or very religious. Neither is good for getting into clubs, so lie if asked. But be convincing. 10 is a reasonable number. 10 million is not.
- It may be cool to get to know the bouncer, but don't invite him to your school's football game.
- Bouncers like to think of themselves as being the peak of physical perfection. Challenge him to do 4,000 push ups. While he's demonstrating, go into the club.
- Remember, a long coat and a ten-year old sitting on an 11 year old's shoulders makes a 21 year old.
- Don't play hopscotch while waiting in line.
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How You Do It
- Get your mums eyeliner and draw wrinkles (finely - the smaller the more realistic). Around the eyes is good. Being female helps. Stuff a small pillow up your dress and pretend you are pregnant. Put on your mums wedding and engagement ring.
jaymie murphy [16 Jan 2003]
- If your a bloke, scratch your nuts, and talk about the "OTHER DAY AT WORK" while burping and farting.
jaymie murphy [16 Jan 2003]
- When the bouncer stops you at the door, confuse him by saying something like "Is what the mule times thirteen sheep plus the percentage of a donut the hole takes up! Solve it!" While he is trying to work out what you said, hit him with an umbrella and run inside. Heh heh heh.
will.i.am [16 Jan 2003]
- Challenge the bouncer to a pube fight and hope he shaves his nuts.
C.W.Hague [16 Jan 2003]
- As i'm a DJ, I know all the tricks. Just be the DJ's girlfriend/boyfriend. As you help carry in boxes of cd's & records, no one ever asks. Just don't say you're the dj's mum/dad. Sure giveaway.
madgorgon [16 Jan 2003]
- Borrow your older brothers/sisters ID and tell the bouncers you have a rare disease that makes you get younger instead of older, and that the photo was taken a year ago.
Kaite F [16 Jan 2003]
- Make an I.D. card for a 'company' you 'work for'. Then you can change your age to whatever you want it to be :D
Miranda Worthington [16 Jan 2003]
- Borrow your older brothers/sisters ID and tell the bouncers you have a rare disease that makes you get younger instead of older, and that the photo was taken a year ago.
Kaite F [16 Jan 2003]
- Wait until just after midnight, when the first run of brawls start outside of the nightclub (Bouncers can't help but get involved in some good old blood sport). Dash quickly, but confidently, through the unattended door.
Andrew Brisbane [16 Jan 2003]
- Befriend the hottest, least clothed group of young women outside and enter the club with them. While the bouncers are busy attempting to get phone numbers, glide right through.
Andrew Brisbane [16 Jan 2003]
- On the things not to do notes : Do not stand outside singing/humming Nicki Webster songs. (Actually never do this at any point, in your life, anywhere).
Andrew Brisbane [16 Jan 2003]
- Vast wedges of cash make for great bribes - pokemon cards do not.
Matthias [16 Jan 2003]
- Wear a happy 21st party hat .
Jonathan Hill [16 Jan 2003]
- Change your name by deed poll to "On the Guest List". That way when the door knobs ask whether you are "on the guest list?", you pull out your ID and waltz on through.
Fletch [16 Jan 2003]
- Pash off someone of the same sex as yous're lining up.
hailey [16 Jan 2003]
- Throw dog crap on the dude and run in and hide in the bath room on top of the toilet.
Peter William Goodwin [16 Jan 2003]
- Call in a bomb threat and dash inside during the confusion
Ramon Herrera [16 Jan 2003]
- Follow a few good, well known, older friends maybe with some "special passes" into the club.
Nick [16 Jan 2003]
- First, find yourself a large and powerful summonable monster. It helps if you can control it. Calmly walk up to the Bouncer, and say "let me in." When they don't let you in, summon the monster. The monster should maim and kill the Bouncer, allowing you easy access. *Note, you will gain a whole lot more attention for the mass destruction the monster lets loose if you don't tell it to stop, and will subsiquently be kicked out, but hey - at least you got in!
Deranged Psycho [16 Jan 2003]
- Find someone who has been granted entry and see what their stamp looks like. get a black pen and draw your own stamp. if questioned, say its from a club down the street-if it looks like they aren't buying your story, sweet talk them by telling them the other club was shit and their is so much better!
Kim [16 Jan 2003]
- What NOT to do: girls-don't wear your frilly party dress, and guys-don't get over dressed up and turn up in a tux. The bouncers may not be smart, but they aren't completely clueless!
Kim [16 Jan 2003]
- Bring records along, they'll think your the dj.
Frederik [16 Jan 2003]
- Steal your dads license and tell the bouncer your dad left it at home and mom wanted you to go give it to him.
Bryant Juggalo [16 Jan 2003]
- Have your friend act like he dies (we did this once) and then run in, if there is another one....say your mom is in there and u gotta tell your mom that your brother is down on the ground and needs help...
KC Corbin [16 Jan 2003]
- When the bouncers are giving you a hard time, just flash them and walk in....it actually works.
Linda Nguyen [16 Jan 2003]
- Find the largest suit you can wear without having the trouser legs and sleeves too long, stuff where your chest muscles would be, with a:
a) Younger sibling
b) Small fluffy dog
c) Budgerigars
Then stuff your shoulders with lightweight bricks. Impress the guy by "flexing" your "chest muscles" (poking your sibling, fluffy dog or budgerigar - if your budgies can talk, say its a party trick - same goes for younger siblings) and then tell him you're there to relieve him on his shift. Then invite all your friends in and go party!
delusionsofgrandeur [16 Jan 2003]
- Eat loadza beans jus b4 u leave then fart as loud as possible rite nxt 2 the bouncer, while he's passed out you can slip in.
a nonomouse [16 Jan 2003]
- Tell them how old you really are. if the bouncers don't let you in, stand outside for several years until you are 18.
cabdude [16 Jan 2003]
- OK, I call a bar and ask what their age requirement is. They tell me that bogus 21 and up tale. So, casually ask if there are any acceptions. They get a little curious and ask why. I then proceed to tell them that my roommate has a drinking problem and I cant handle a repeat of the "incident in october". By now they are intrigued about what her past incidents were, and i play it off with stange men, emergency room trip, dead car, etc. Then I explain that I am underage and I feel as though she needs a designated driver. This works like a charm. When you get ot the bar, they are expecting u... so no embarrassing moments at the door. Once you are in, and its all 21 and up, they tend to not pay attention, no Xs on the hands, etc. I drink and chill and for a few brief hours each weekend, I feel as though I am truly of age.
Ashlyn Broderick [16 Jan 2003]
- Getting into a club is a remarkably simple endeavour. After you've seen Star Wars, smoothly walk up to the door, making sure to make eye contact with the bouncer. When he stops you to ask for your ID, Wave you hand before his face and say "I am not the under-age drinker you are looking for. You don't need to see my identification. I can go about my under-age drinking. Move along."
Dakeyras Romiosini [16 Jan 2003]
- Find a friend over 18 or 21 who is a lot thinner than you. Same sex will help. Show the bouncer this as your ID, andwhen they say "this isnt you" , break down crying about how now how youve put on weight no one recognises you anymore etc.. etc.. or act really offended and ask "are you saying im fatter now thatn in my pic?!"
Tonie [16 Jan 2003]
- Buy some cheap locks and put the keys on a ring. Then bring the keys and a large box. When confronted by the bouncer 'accidently drop the keys and say ,"Oh, my hands are full. Can you get those for me?" When the bouncer bends down to get them drop the box on his head and run in.
Y. Shud Yoono [16 Jan 2003]
- Move to live in europe and get served at sixteen.
Stu Capel [16 Jan 2003]
- Get a fake ID it's not hard just go to the RTA with your older brother or sister with their birth certificate, bank card and tell them you lost your licence and you want a replacement one for a small fee you will have your own drivers licence with your photo on it and no one is any wiser.
beau [16 Jan 2003]
- Bring a bottle of chloroform, a cloth, and some sneezing powder. Put the chloroform on the cloth. Next get your 21 year old friend (preferably female) to blow the bouncer a kiss while the powder is on her palm. Offer the bouncer the cloth as a hankie and while he is unconcious sneak in.
Wyshud Itellyu [16 Jan 2003]
- Walk up to abovementioned nightclub. Its phone number should be somewhere on the outside, but if its not then go look in the phone book.
Go to the nearest payphone, call the club and ask to speak to the manager. Once you're on the phone with them, think up a really inventive way of making them say their name. The most generic scheme is "hello, Mister.. im sorry, your name was?". Pretending you're speaking from the police warrants a laugh.
Walk up to Mr. Bouncer with your friends/girlfriend/boyfriend and lay on the good old "hey, I dont know if the message got through, but Mr. _**_ said he would clear passes for me and (whoever)". Bouncers are too busy to chase up the legitimacy of such a claim; if he tries, split. In you trundle, and use a similar skit to hustle free drinks.
enigmatic freak [16 Jan 2003]
- I'm a doorman in NY and none of these tips work!!
SALVO [16 Jan 2003]
- Borrow a friend's ID, preferably a friend over 21 that looks like you and tell them you were sick when you had the photo taken.
Bailey [16 Jan 2003]
- Walk casually up to the bouncer, if he asks for ID say "sure.." and start to reach into your pocket. all of a sudden, point to something behind him and scream a choice phrase. eg: "oh my god! what the hell was that!", "whoah! its not every day you see that", "look - a distraction!" etc.
as the guard turns to look, casually sneak in, go to the toilets, and shave your head so he doesnt recognise you.
josh [16 Jan 2003]
- Walk in holing a girls or boys hand, when you get to the door pretend to be in the middle of a conversation/ arguement about money or something, the bouncers won't want to interfere.
charlessmith [16 Jan 2003]
- I am a Bouncer in New Zealand and we have had lots of people try to get in using these tips needless to say they DON'T WORK! So don't try them. Although the funniest one was when a 13 year old girl came up to us wearing this ugly jacket and said in a really low voice "I would like to come in," and she got more than she bargained for.
Bouncer [16 Jan 2003]
- Pull the bouncer aside with something like, "i want to tell you." making sure you look at him with upspoken glassy, deep set eyes... kind of like an angelina jolie glare... and when you have his attention ask him what his favorite color is and interpert it , making it wildy interesting, yet plausiable. Hopefully by this point he'll be thinking he's never met such an wierd, but intriguing woman, or for that matter teenage girl. Now this is your time to flash your license in his face, careful don't lose that eye contact and proceed inside. Your verbal beauty will leave him speechless and you blissfully drunk.
aussiegirl [16 Jan 2003]
- Get your 18+ friends to go into the club and quickly open the back doors whilst no-one is looking. Make a mad dash for the toilets and stay in there for 10-15 minutes. Then casually walk out and join the party!
PS: Mobile phones come in handy for timing the whole event
Stuie [16 Jan 2003]
- All the regulars in the bar, are always well known and liked, so just tell the bouncer your a brother or a sister of one of these regulars, they will be very suprised, and just say head on in, ( just did that the other week ago )
Gen [2 Feb 2003]
- Ask for a shovel on your 8th birthday...keep digging in the direction of the club and by the time you are a teen you should be there....oh yeah, just hope that they havn't relocated the club in the meantime
Tracy cawkwell [3 Feb 2003]
- I'm a bouncer in rotherham and by God we've heard some mad excuses. Few weeks back some trouble kicked of, we escorted the lads of the premises, meanwhile a 11 year old dressed in a Versace shirt, black trousers and new shoes sneaked in. A friend said to me, "It's like a school in there". I went in and by gosh he was tiny, held his hand and escorted him as if he was me little son, so it can work but you soon get caught out!!
woody (ZONE-ROTHERHAM) [21 Feb 2003]
- Buy a chainsaw and cut your bedroom door. Dress as a bouncer, charge twice the amount for people you don't know, while friends are let in for free.
joe hydro [10 Mar 2003]
- Just sneak in with the croud.
Sinead McDonald [26 Mar 2003]
- Make a fake ID from some European country. (How many people know what a Euro ID is supposed to look like?) If they ask you any questions say you don't speak English in some phoney accent.
Some Bozo [19 Apr 2003]
- make your own night club up and party hard like your parents
matt cat [29 Apr 2003]
- Cry
meep bitch [8 May 2003]
- Bouncers only need to see plenty of flesh, and a cigarette in your hand, and you're in. If these don't work, get your mum's credit card, pretend it's your. Voila!
Loopy Kat [13 May 2003]
- Ask the bouncer for id, it confuses them.
robert smith [23 Jun 2003]
- Locate the bouncers mother, and tell her to make him let you into the Club.
dacia Lixtonol [23 Jun 2003]
- Have a cross dresser hit on the bouncer. While he is defending his sexuality (or if he is inclined, getting a number) waltz right in.
dacia Lixtonol [23 Jun 2003]
- Dress up like a bouncer and say your here to take over for him.
dacia Lixtonol [23 Jun 2003]
- Tell a Jahova's witness group that the bouncer is possesed and while he is being exorcised, sneak in.
dacia harper [23 Jun 2003]
- Flirt with the bouncer, show some skin, smoke a cig, and then when he leats expects it, run in!
Dementia Demonia [29 Jun 2003]
- Invite an enemy to the club with you (to bury the hatchet) then stand behind them and yell, "The bouncers are gay!" expertly pin it on your enemy, and sneak in as the bouncers bounce on your guest.
zippy chickenchunks [7 Aug 2003]
- Get your 18 year old mates to start a fight. As the bouncer goes to break it up, run in the club.
dan conlin [24 Aug 2003]
- If you are a girl, say you are looking for your boy friend who you think he is cheating on you. That allways works.
lolly ??? [1 Oct 2003]
- Burn the club to the ground. (Hey, if you can't get in on the action, then no body else should be allowed!)
Gem Rodgers [9 Oct 2003]
- Tell them your lesbian lover is inside and that you are both looking to have a threesome with a bouncer to "add some excitement to your relationship." Then tell him that you will see him at the end of the night and waltz in while he is seething with excitement.
Kirsten Lesina [23 Oct 2003]
- When they ask you how old you are just say "Don't ask. You REALLY dont want to know." Walk in while they're trying to work out why they can't ask.
jeff uh...smith [11 Nov 2003]
- Tell the bouncer that you are under 18 and that you are desperate to go to the toilet and nowhere else is open - he lets you in, you walk out three hours later complaining about the complex club and how you got lost.
chickfromoz [21 Nov 2003]
- Learn to speak another language, or at the very least learn to fake it. The more obscure it is, the better. Pull the "I am a hot Brazilian/ Slovak/ French/ Swedish tourist bravely attempting to speak English, my passport is at my hotel obviously as I can't take it with me, but of course I'm 18, this is my gap year!!!" trick. ACTUALLY WORKED for me at one of Paris' "exclusive" (but crappy) clubs.
tequilachikita [21 Nov 2003]
- Get on the bouncers good side by telling him that the "eagle" tattoo looks great on him, but you unfortunatly saw a dead eagle right outside the door. While he's looking up in the sky for the dead eagle, you'll have plenty of time to sneak in.
scott quick [15 Dec 2003]
- Pretend to be really sick and run inside to use the toilets, but just stay in there. Wait about 10 minutes so they forget about you, then walk out of the toilets and party on.
evie papigiotis [26 Dec 2003]
- Hold on to your big bro's woman because she's older and makes you look older.
arse mirphy [26 Dec 2003]
- walk into on the club on a cell phone and when you get to the bouncers say loud and clear "daddy loves you"
sean ormerod [13 Feb 2004]
- Kick the bouncer in the balls
Bob Richards [24 May 2004]
- Throw up on the bouncer, then apologise, say you will go inside for some loo roll, and never come back. Then drink more, and throw up on him again when you leave, and run - hard.
idid bradders [20 Jun 2004]
- Start talking about who you're going to vote for as you approach the entrance.
ben brown [4 Jul 2004]
- If you're a girl you can stuff your boobs with toilet paper and put thin pillows over your butt cheeks to make it look like you've got a huge butt. If toilet paper doesn't work, then try buying double-padded bras.
Whydouwannano donno [7 Jul 2004]
- Get some crayons and draw stubble on your cheeks
Aaron McCully [8 Jul 2004]
- turn 18
Some Bozo [3 Oct 2004]
- Say you feel ill, and need to sit down and they'll take you inside for a seat, the you can slide off easily into the club! Always a winner for me!
Natalie Derry [10 Oct 2004]
- Set yourself on fire and beg them to let you in to get some water to put out the fire... to avoid attracting unnecesary attention in the club its a good idea to extinguish yourself
Tommy [13 Jan 2005]
- Take a couple of your friends and make them start a fight in front of the club , when the bouncer get distracted just run in.
walter varela [17 Jan 2005]
- Scream "It burns! It burns! Oh it burns!" and just run in. The bouncer will be so confused he won't notice.
shklin zo [20 Jan 2005]
- Find out the boss' name, and say you're his daughter and need to tell him something urgently.
daniella kay [14 Feb 2005]
- If your a girl, break out into tears and start yelling, "Why didnt you call me, I thought we had something!" at the bouncer (this has worked 8 outta 9 times).
Commie go Lightly [22 Mar 2005]
- When he asks for id, pull out some fake keys and say "Damn, I left it in the car." He might think you're older.
Ben Johnston [23 Mar 2005]
- Order a cheap £10 fake id off the internet. The bouncer will then usually say they don't accept it, so then point to your eye and say your blind in your left eye and thats why you don't have a proper drivers licence. It works EVERY time!
I Gotintheclub [1 Apr 2005]
- Say to the bouncers, let me in or I will get my willy out and piss all over you. You will get allowed straight in, free of charge!
Keeno Keeno [9 Apr 2005]
- If you're a woman, lure the bouncers into an alley way one by one, and hit them over the head with a handbag full of tinned cat food then lure the next ones. (Note. bouncers are so thick that they wont catch on)
sam smee [12 May 2005]
- Come rushing up pulling on your shirt and adjusting your dacks and laughing while you tell them about the nude disco queen contest goin' down right now in the alley just over there...and get ready to club on!
MANTLEBROTT bits (very small print) [16 May 2005]
- Workin' as a cowhand has its benefits.
Just bring one of the electric cattle prods to town. You go in, or the bouncer has a reVOLTing experience. Want some new best friends? Pass the prod down the queue. Want some new worst enemies?
Sneak the batteries out first.
MANTLEBROTT bits (very small print here) [16 May 2005]
- What you have to do is dab some stubble on your cheeks with crayon. If that doesn't work, borrow your dad's credit card and simply tell the bouncer that you left your license in the car.
eric [22 May 2005]
- For the ladies who are under 21, when the bouncer asks how old are you? just say "You are sooo sweet! Thanks for the compliment!" Works every time.
stephanie senese [28 May 2005]
- Just get a group of several friends together (preferably same sex and looking similar) then all use the same ID. If the bouncer thinks this is suspicious, just tell him that you were all cloned from the same person.
Anonymous Dude [29 May 2005]
- Just appear very drunk and it's blatantly obvious that you got in somewhere else, and therefore must be over 18.
Anonymous Dude [29 May 2005]
- Go onto the internet and find as much info on Margaret Thatcher as you can. Impress the bouncer with your knowledge, and explain that anyone under the age of 18 is too young to remember the last tory government.
Anonymous Dude [29 May 2005]
- Walk up to the bouncers alone and on your mobile. Pretend you are having a huge argument with your boy/girlfriend/mum etc- fake crying.
getin underage [29 May 2005]
- If you are short like me, roll up your socks into balls and put them in the soles of your shoes. It makes you seem taller and older.
david arnold [13 Jun 2005]
- Crouch over and say you can't find your wallet because your memory is acting up. The bouncer will think your about 70 and you can get in.
david arnold [21 Jun 2005]
- When the bouncer asks you to produce ID, explain to him that you are against the introduction of ID cards and don't want to pay £300 for a driver's licence just to prove who you are, and so do not carry any ID as a protest. The average person in England with a political opinion is 50-something, so if you look 17 just say you used botox.
Anonymous Dude [30 Jun 2005]
- Walk in naked and get your older friend to take in a bag of clothes - party away!
FooFoo [13 Jul 2005]
- Say really loudly Parties were better in the 70's
david arnold [28 Jul 2005]
- If you smoke, stand outside the club smoking like a chimney, and when you get to the bouner, ask him if you can smoke inside. Generally, they assume that because you are smoking, and had the courtesy to ask if it was ok, then you are over 18. This has worked for me four times in Australia. I guess they assume that anyone younger wouldnt have the politness to ask first.
EJ [8 Sep 2005]
- This sounds pretty crazy, but seeing as i was born in 1988, I changed the 8 to a 6 by getting some blue tac and using a needle to place the blue tac over the top right corner of the eight to chnage it to a 6. This has worked for me in Australia and most of my friends at most night clubs!
Court Nicks [22 Apr 2006]
- lol well i'm a dj and i get paid to go to the club so i get i and if im not djing that time the bouncers know me and they let me in anywai lol
so become a dj and you will get in
DJ Rollon [17 Nov 2007]
- i borrowed my friends sisters id trying to get into this bar....but the bastard ginger bouncer asked me my SECOND NAME
i was like eh......SHIT
if you borrow ID, fuckin STUDY it people
Giselle . [18 Jan 2008]
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April 2002
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