Many people believe Tom Hanks is simply an actor. But, there’s more to him than a man simply parroting the lines of the writer, a mere puppet of the director.
But, think of the wisdom he handed down in Forrest Gump. Consider the dignity he had in Philadelphia. Tom Hanks is quite clearly the greatest teacher in the history of the world since Jesus Christ.
In fact, Tom Hanks is Jesus, and we’ve got proof.
It’s obvious really. He died in Philadelphia, but he’s back again, alive and well, bearded and leading his disciple (OK, so it’s a volleyball, but hey) back to the promised land in Cast Away.
Here are more clues about why Tom Hanks is Jesus.
- In Forrest Gump, Tom Hanks motto was “Stupid is as stupid does”. Jesus was born on Christmas Day, which everyone agrees is really stupid, because it cuts down the number of presents you get.
- In Big, Tom Hanks was boy in the body of a man. In The Bible, Jesus was God in the body of a man.
- In Cast Away, Tom Hanks grows a beard. Jesus had a beard.
- In Apollo 13, Tom Hanks went into outer space for just over three days, then came back to earth. No one knows where Jesus went between Good Friday and Easter Sunday, but it could have been the outer space.
- Tom starred in The Man With One Red Shoe. Jesus wore sandals, and although their colour isn’t mentioned, they were probably red.
- Jesus invented the miracle of the loaves and fishes. Tom starred with a half-woman/half-fish in Splash.
- Tom Hanks has appeared in three movies with Meg Ryan. Jesus is part of the holy trinity – Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
- Tom’s first TV appearance was on the Love Boat. Jesus said “Love thy neighbour”.
- Tom wrote the classic That Thing You Do. Jesus wrote the classic The Lord’s Prayer.
- Tom Hanks was in Bachelor Party. Jesus was a bachelor.
- In A League Of Their Own, Tom played a baseball coach, and gave the team tips on how to play better. In The Bible, Jesus plays the messiah, and give his followers tips on how to live better.
- Tom appeared in the documentary I Am Your Child. Jesus said he was the Son of God.
- Tom was Woody in Toy Story 2, the sequel to Toy Story. Jesus was in the New Testament, the sequel to the Old Testament.