Tom Hanks Is Jesus

Tom "Jesus" Hanks, in Cast Away.

Your Evidence

• Tom had a wound in his palm tring to start a fire in Cast Away, Jesus had a wound in his hand being nailed to the cross to save us from eternal hellfire
  George Romeo [7 Jan 2003]
• The "J" in Thomas J. Hanks stands for Jesus!
  Anika Thyrock [7 Jan 2003]
• Hanks' wife is Rita Wilson. His greatest disciple was Wilson. Well, that's about it.
  Loris [7 Jan 2003]
• Jesus and Hanks both end with s.
  Iain Wang [7 Jan 2003]
• Tom Hanks is a creator of Band of Brothers, Jesus' apostles were like a band of brothers.
  Shay Pressler [7 Jan 2003]
• In Sleepless in Seattle Tom Hanks travels to another city to see the woman he loves, in the Bible Jesus travels all over the place to tell others about God's love.
  Meso Funny [7 Jan 2003]
• Jesus' mother is named Mary. Sally Field played Forrest Gump's mother. She also starred in an old TV sitcom in which she played a nun. Her name was Sister 'Mary' Batrill.
  Joel Bays [7 Jan 2003]
• Jesus was a man; Tom Hanks is also a man.
  William Cardy [7 Jan 2003]
• In Forrest Gump, Forrest Gump's name was Forrest and on the third day, God (Jesus' father) created forests.
  Gabby Romero [7 Jan 2003]
• Tom Hanks starred in Apollo 13. Apollo was a god, and supposedly Jesus was God!
  Daniel Peters [7 Jan 2003]
• Tom Hanks has the same car as Jesus. An Oldsmobile... except, Jesus's model was a "Really Oldsmobile"
  Ben Maynard [7 Jan 2003]
• Willem Dafore played Jesus in The Last Temptation of Christ, which also starred Harvey Keitel. Harvey Keitel was in Taxi Driver which also starred Robert DeNiro. Robert DeNiro was in Falling in Love with Meryl Streep. Meryl Streep was in The River Wild with Kevin Bacon. Kevin Bacon was in Apollo 13 with...Tom Hanks! Spooky.
  Jamie Forbes [This is conclusive evidence that Tom Hanks is also Willem Dafoe - Liam] [7 Jan 2003]
• Tom Hanks was in the movie Apollo Thirteen. Jesus hung around with twelve other blokes. If you add Jesus to that amount of blokes you get thirteen blokes. And there was probably lots of polio when Jesus was around, which sounds a lot like Apollo
  Brendan [7 Jan 2003]
• Tom Hanks starred in Turner and Hooch, Jesus worked with all kinds of creatures, probably even dogs.
  Lauren Silly Pants [7 Jan 2003]
• The 'H' in Jesus H. Christ stands for 'Hanks'.
  Jimbob [7 Jan 2003]
• In Forest Gump,Tom Hanks said "Life is like a box of chocolates". After the last supper, Jesus handed out chocolate after dinner mints.
  Carl Malden [7 Jan 2003]
• Jesus died on the cross, and Tom sometimes gets a bit cross, but not much.
  John [7 Jan 2003]
• Tom Hanks rhymes with planks. Jesus was a carpenter.
  Matt Kemp [7 Jan 2003]
• Jesus hung around with a bunch of guys. In "In a League of Their Own" Tom hung around with Rosie O'Donnell who may also be a guy.
  Jake Wilson [7 Jan 2003]
• Every time Tom Hanks wins another Oscar everyone yells, "Jesus!"
  Todd [7 Jan 2003]
• Jews don't think Tom Hanks is the Messiah, either.
  Ben [7 Jan 2003]
• In Cast Away, Tom Hanks gets stranded on an island surrounded by water. Jesus walked on water!
  Noa and Nadav Gur-Arieh [7 Jan 2003]
• In the movie Cast Away Tom Hanks had a best freind and it was a ball! I am sure that like all other males Jesus's best friend was his balls!
  Phil McCrackin [7 Jan 2003]
• Tom Hanks fell in love with a big fish in Splash. Jesus loved the fish big time.
  Austin Michael [7 Jan 2003]
• In the movie You've Got Mail, Tom Hanks brought a large store to a neighborhood and put a smaller store out of business. Jesus brought a large religion to the neighborhood and put smaller religions out of business.
  Shay Pressler [7 Jan 2003]
• Jesus was crucified for saying he was the son of God. Tom Hanks was crucifed for The Bonfire Of The Vanities.
  Brian Vo [7 Jan 2003]
• Tom Hanks won back to back Oscars. Jesus was killed side to side with two thieves (who were may have been called Oscar).
  Brian Vo [7 Jan 2003]
• In the Toy Story movies, Tom Hanks played a character named "Woody." The cross on which Jesus was crucified was made of wood.
  Scott Petrovits [7 Jan 2003]
• People flocked to the cinemas to see Tom Hanks' cinema magic (also known as the miracle of cinema). People also flocked to the streets to see Jesus' miracles.
  Norm Marsh [7 Jan 2003]
• Tom Hanks can't act. Jesus couldn't act either, otherwise he would have been able to win his trial and stay off the cross.
  Ron [7 Jan 2003]
• Tom Hanks starred in You've Got Mail. Jesus was male.
  Steven Rothenburger [7 Jan 2003]
• Tom Hanks saved Private Ryan's body, Jesus saved his soul.
  Harry Tuport [7 Jan 2003]
• Tom Hanks starred in Bosom Buddies with Peter Scolari. Jesus had a buddy named Peter.
  Lysandra [7 Jan 2003]
• In Joe vs. The Volcano, Tom Hanks sacrificed his life for the good of the island people. In The Bible, Jesus sacrificed his life for the sins of the people. Plus, in Joe vs. The Volcano, Tom Hanks jumped into a volcano, and in The Bible Jesus lived in the Roman Empire, which had a big volcano called Mt. Vesuvius.
  Sabine [7 Jan 2003]
• Tom Hanks went up in to outer space in
  Apollo 13 [7 Jan 2003]
• after the resurection, Jesus also went up, sure, he went to heaven or what not, but thats just details, they both went up.
  Nathan Randall [7 Jan 2003]
• A mate of mine was whacking a nail into a bit of wood the other day, and he accidentally whacked his thumb with the hammer instead of the nail, and he shouted "Oh Tom Hanks!"
  Rob Macdermid [7 Jan 2003]
• On Bosom Buddies, Tom Hanks wore makeup and a dress. Jesus wore a shroud/tunic that looks very much like a dress.
  Melanie [7 Jan 2003]
• Tom Hanks is Jesus because if you take the name Tom Hanks and add a few letters, and take away some more, it spells Jesus! Freaky or what???
  Kim [7 Jan 2003]
• The movie Apollo Thirteen was originally going to be called Apostle Thirteen
  Paul Cruz [7 Jan 2003]
• In Forrest Gump, Forrest and Jenny were "like peas and carrots." At The Last Supper, peas and carrots were the favoured side-food.
  Matt Cutler [7 Jan 2003]
• Tom Hanks starred in "A League of their Own". Jesus and his disciples were also in a league of their own
  Donna Jones [7 Jan 2003]
• In Forrest Gump, Hanks said "Life is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get." Jesus said exactly the same when he was awaiting the trial verdict.
  Nig Bev [7 Jan 2003]
• In Forrest Gump, Tom crossed the country on foot for no aparent reason, Jesus crossed a country or two on foot also.
  Brad [7 Jan 2003]
• Jesus was a "fisher of men", in "Forrest Gump" Tom Hanks was a "fisher of shrimp"
  kevotheclone [7 Jan 2003]
• In Forrest Gump, Tom Hanks met "The King of Rock and Roll" Elvis. Jesus was called "The King of the Jews" in the Bible.
  Doc [7 Jan 2003]
• I've never seen jesus and tom hanks in the same place at the same time.
  Qwerty [7 Jan 2003]
• Jesus did millions of great things in one lifetime. Tom Hanks can be a millions different people in one lifetime.
  Vicky and Kaleigh [9 Feb 2003]
• My neighbor doesn't believe in Jesus. He doesn't believe in Tom Hanks, either.
  moi potato [11 Feb 2003]
• Tom Hanks starred in Saving Private Ryan, where he sacrificed himself for a man. Jesus got tacked to a cross to save us all.
  Mick Martin [27 Feb 2003]
• People ask Tom Hanks for his autograph. People would probably ask Jesus for his autograph too.
  Phillip McKreviss [18 Mar 2003]
• Tom Hanks saved Private Ryan. Jesus died saving us from Hell. The odds are overwhelming that a man named Ryan who was indeed an Army Private was spared damnation because of Jesus.
  Cody Mitchell [29 Apr 2003]
• "May you live as long as you want and not want as long as you live."
  -Tom Hanks
  Lots of quotes about everlasting life, where all needs and wants are fulfilled. If not here on earth, well then, after you die.
  -Jesus Christ
  leester [9 May 2003]
• Tom Hanks has been called "The nicest man in Hollywood." Jesus was a nice man.
  Edgar Hons [17 May 2003]
• Tom Hanks most likely eats sausage. Jesus said "This is my body, eat it." If you take Jesus' name and say it backwards it sounds like 'sausage'.
  geekydon [29 Jun 2003]
• Jesus was perfect. As he has proved so many times, Tom Hanks is "perfect" in every role he takes on.
  Silly Bobilly [10 Jul 2003]
• Jesus, as God, created everything. Therefore Tom Hanks claim to have created fire in Cast Away would also be claiming to be Jesus.
  The T-Train [26 Nov 2003]
• Tom Hanks abbreviated is THanks. Jesus also gave thanks.
  Darren Fava [28 Dec 2003]
• When Tom played that huge piano with his feet in the movie Big, it was 'heavenly'
  scott quick [7 Jan 2004]
• If you read the Bible from beginning to end, you will see a lot about Jesus. If you flip the pages backwards real fast and look at the edges, you will see a short animation of Tom Hanks and Moses skipping across the parted Red Sea.
  scott quick [9 Jan 2004]
• In "Philadelphia" Tom Hanks was gay. Jesus hung out with 12 rather effeminate looking guys (think Da Vinci's "Last Supper") Also, in the movie, Hanks had AIDS. Jesus aids people.
  Brett Lazer [6 Feb 2004]
• Jesus walked on water. In Forrest Gump,Forrest took one step on water to meet Lt. Dan.
  Brenda Wall [10 Feb 2004]
• Tom Hanks is Jesus because BigJ said he would return in human form to overtake the world in a series of well timed musical comedies, That Thing You Do being the first. Actually, perhaps that wasn't Jesus.
  Sam Smith [13 Feb 2004]
• Tom Hanks' mother is really attractive... as is the Virgin Mary.
  Sam Smith [19 Feb 2004]
• "Jesus" begins with J. Tom Hanks has played the following movie characters with names that begin with J: Josh Baskin, Joe Banks, Jimmy Dugan, John Miller, Joe Fox, Jim Lovell.
  "Eric____" [16 Mar 2004]
• Tom's wife's name is Rita. Which rhymes with pita. Which is a Greek bread that people probably ate around Jesus' time.
  Elisa Wing [24 Mar 2004]
• Tom Hanks was nearly 30 years old when he became famous. Jesus was also nearly 30 years old when he became famous.
  Darren Fava [23 Apr 2004]
• Tom Hanks prays to his God. Jesus also prayed to his God.
  Darren Fava [23 Apr 2004]
• Jesus spoke of his beliefs and died at a young age. As Tom Hanks, he stayed quiet to enjoy a longer life.
  Darren Fava [23 Apr 2004]
• Jesus was right handed and about 6 ft tall. Tom Hanks is right handed and about 6 ft tall.
  Darren Fava [23 Apr 2004]
• The movie "That Thing You Do" records the meteoric rise and fall of a one-hit-wonder band, which Tom Hanks guides and supports along the way. The Bible says something about "the last shall be first and the first shall be last," which obviously means the band, and since Tom Hanks was the man behind it all he has to be Jesus.
  Erika Strandjord [26 Aug 2004]
• Jesus was never married (or so they say). Tom Hanks got married twice to make up for lost time.
  Darren Fava [23 Sep 2004]
• They both have brown hair!
  Me [28 Sep 2004]
• tom hanks loves to be center of attention in all of his movies. Jesus was center of attention around his time and probably didnt mind it.
  kelsey * kels [23 Dec 2004]
• Christ and Hanks have both 5 letters.
  Tum bo [17 Feb 2005]
• You pronounce the name 'Hanks' as the name 'Henks'. A friend of mine is called 'Henk'. He has a dog, named Simot. If turn 'Dog Simot' you'll get: TOM IS GOD Last week Simot became father of a little puppy-girl, called Susey. In the old language you write Susey as: S U S E J Turn that around. You'll get JESUS! So Tom is defenitely Jesus.
  Hanks-Fan -from-Holland [22 Feb 2005]
• Tom and God both have three letters and 'o' and there middle letter. Same with the word son. And jesus was gods son.
  hayley - [17 Sep 2005]
• In PHILADELPHIA Hanks played role as a gay man. Jesus, as a God, created a man first. So he had a man only, at that time, suppose he was a gay :))
  Mig Ts [21 Feb 2006]
• Tommy found a cave to live in, in Castaway, and Jesus was in a cave as well.
  David Pressler [16 Mar 2006]
• Jesus delivered the Sermon on the Mount. Tom Hanks has a large amount of money.
  Miggy [6 Apr 2006]
• If you spell 'Hanks' backwards it 'Sknah' which is what Jesus probably sounded like when he sneezed...
  Amanda Nelsin [7 Apr 2006]
• Jesus turned water into wine. Tom Hanks turned terrible movies into a successful career.
  Cheesus Chrust [9 Apr 2006]
• Those who don't let Jesus into their lives go straight to hell. Movies that don't let Tom Hanks into their cast go straight to video.
  Adam Finkelstein [10 Apr 2006]
• In The Money Pit, Tom Hanks bought a mansion that was falling apart and fixed it up, thus performing a miracle. Jesus performs miracles, too.
  Poizun [11 Apr 2006]
• Jesus said, "eat this bread, for it is my body." Tom Hanks has a body.
  jo ezelle [11 Apr 2006]
• Tom Hanks can't act. As Jesus was born before the invention of Hollywood, he probably couldn't either.
  Rhino [14 Apr 2006]
• Nietzche believes that Tom Hanks is dead. Also, Tom Hanks is starring in "The Da Vinci Code". Da Vinci was a big fan of Jesus.
  I is Me [15 Apr 2006]
• My friend told me that Tom Hanks once had sex with a horse. I don't know if Jesus ever did that, but it would probably be edited out of the bible if he did.
  Judy Gerschwin [21 Apr 2006]
• In "Bachelor Party", Tom Hanks was the only man to not have sex with anyone. Jesus also never had sex with anyone, unless you believe The Da Vinci Code, which Hanks also stars in!!
  Lisa Smith [29 Apr 2006]
• Tom Hanks is Spanish for Jesus
  Jonn Shea [9 May 2006]
• If you spell Tom backwards it spells mot, and Mott's apple juice is very delicious. What is also delicious is bread and wine, which Jesus gave his apostles. They all said thanks which spells T-Hanks. TOM HANKS!!!
  Jonn Shea [9 May 2006]

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