Terrific Toast Tid-bits

Toast crumbs in the bed are natures way of telling you to clean the sheets.

Your Terrific Things About Toast

• You can toast with wine, but you can't whine with toast!
  Laura Prado [7 Jan 2003]
• The sharing of Toast between Grant and Lee was solely responsible for the ending of the American Civil War.
  Andrew Brisbane [7 Jan 2003]
• In ancient times a want to be groom would need to present his father in law to be with many a piece of toast to gain approval. Although now replaced with slabs of beer the toaster is still used as a common gift at weddings in respect of the ancients.
  Andrew Brisbane [7 Jan 2003]
• Toast Tech Tip : Toast cannot be used to replace the FlashCard of your digital camera.
  Andrew Brisbane [7 Jan 2003]
• Toast Tech Tip #2: Toast is generally known to be more stable than MS Windows and can handle multiple applications of different brand butters without interfering with your choice of coffee.
  Andrew Brisbane [7 Jan 2003]
• If you cut your crusts off your toast, don't throw them out. Take them to your next footy match - they make great tasting mouthguards, and give you that carb burst you need late in the third quarter.
  Tonya Todman [7 Jan 2003]
• No matter what your Dad says it doesn't taste the same if you just scrape off the burnt bits with a knife.
  C.W.Hague [7 Jan 2003]
• Toast maybe at the bottom of the food pyramid, but pyramids made of toast to bury loved ones are not such a good idea.
  Jimmy McBla [7 Jan 2003]
• Toast Of The Nation: If we didn't accept thousands of Vietnamese refugee in the 70's, we wouldn't have vietanemese bread shops today.
  madgorgon [7 Jan 2003]
• I reckon the dial on the side of the toaster is there for decoration. I don't know the name for it, I just call it the charcoalometer. No matter what number you put it on it always comes out to burnt.
  Mike Robinson [7 Jan 2003]
• Toast is crunchy, you cant get that with any kind of bread!
  nick [7 Jan 2003]
• Students prefer everything on toast because it is cheap, easy to cook and a lot easier than actually using the brain for it's proper use. Not so much a toast tid bit but a tearful sob directed at the worlds students...
  Gordy Clarke [7 Jan 2003]
• If we didn't have Toast, Vegemite sales would plummet!
  Robert [7 Jan 2003]
• Toast spelled backwards is tsaot. That's not the interesting part, though. This is: tsaot spelled backwards is toast. weird huh?
  That Guy with the Face [7 Jan 2003]
• For all you bar owners: Toast can be used as a cheap replacement for beer coasters and they soak up more beer than a standard one.
  Tango Man [7 Jan 2003]
• "If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
  D Seebs [Good question, and here's the answer. - Liam] [7 Jan 2003]
• Toast has been around since the dawn of time, bout a week after sliced bread. They thought the idea would never catch on.
  shanon goodbody [7 Jan 2003]
• You dont make a sandwich with toast, but it is perfectly acceptable to toast a sandwich.
  The Toastmaster [7 Jan 2003]
• Toast Tech Tip #3 - Toast cannot, and should not be used as a floatation device, whatever the circumstance.
  will.i.am [7 Jan 2003]
• You can turn bread into toast, but you can't turn toast back into normal bread.
  Johnny Casino [7 Jan 2003]
• If toast is made with bread why isn't bread made with toast? And why don't toaster pastries look anything like toast?
  Andrea [7 Jan 2003]
• Toast Tech Tip #4 - Pieces of toast do not make very good yo-yo's.
  will.i.am [7 Jan 2003]
• Recommended Usage of Toast (RUT): Eat. Under no circumstances should you insert into a VCR, no matter what is said on a TV commercial.
  delusionsofgrandeur [7 Jan 2003]
• Toast is not an end in itself. It is a means to an end. And that end is to serve up cinnamon sugar. To get the maximum amount of cinnamon sugar, you must 1. Toast until the bread is warm and light brown, but not too crisp. 2. Use margarine, not butter. Margarine sits on surface of the toast and allows more cinnamon sugar to be absorbed. 3. Apply cinnamon sugar until it's absorbed by the melting butter, and then add just a little bit more loose on top. Obviously, the toast shouldn't be cut, or the precious cinnamon sugar will be lost. 4. While eating, begin toasting the second piece of toast.
  Scott [7 Jan 2003]
• No matter what anyone tells you, toast WILL NOT take the place of a Sears catalog in the outhouse.
  Bruce Weible [7 Jan 2003]
• Toast is great for stuffing into your pants so your package looks bigger.
  Sexy clown [7 Jan 2003]
• Hey, that buttered toast on the cat's back doesn't make sense! If the toast is on the cat's back and you drop the cat, the cat will land on it's feet and the toast will stay well off of the floor beacuse it's on the cat's back. Therefore no matter how much tikka masala you use nor how white the carpet is, the cat never float in mid-air! What you really need to do is suspend the toast, buttered-side-down from the cat's belly so that it is hanging at the exact same height at the bottom of the cat's feet (ie. at floor level when the cat is standing). That way, when the cat is dropped and just before it lands (on it's feet) the repelling force of the buttered toast will cause the cat to levitate.
  Ravi Potter [7 Jan 2003]
• You notice that your boss is stealing office supplies.
  D Seebs [7 Jan 2003]
• If you're trying to impress somebody, i.e. a new girl/boyfriend or a visiting dignitary, cut your toast diagonally. It's far more sophisticated, and it can be thrown like a boomerang.
  Lucky Lucky Jimmy Jimmy [7 Jan 2003]
• You can`t put toast in the toaster only bread.
  queenie [27 Apr 2004]
• When the toast is done, a small spring in the toaster pops the toast out. If you increase the power of the spring sufficiently, you can turn the toaster into a rocket launcher. Bread is cheaper than rockets, so ammunition is inexpensive. You are only restricted by the length of the electric cord connecting your toaster to an outlet. You can then threaten to "toast" other people with your combination toaster/rocket launcher unless they give you their bread and toast. Then you threaten MORE people, and get THEIR bread and toast, and then... and then...!
  Andrew R [17 May 2004]
• Do not use toast as a hat, especially on a rainy day. I learnt that the hard way.
  melon mels [12 Jul 2005]
• Toast makes great toilet paper, its an exfoliator and cleanser in one. Just make sure to butter it first....and remove it from the cat.
  GrandPooBah [23 Jul 2005]
• Butter the toast both sides, thus it can't land butter side down.
  mmm toast [28 Feb 2006]
• By tying buttered toast to a cat's back you can create an anti-gravity effect.
  david arnold [8 Jan 2007]

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