How To Find True Love In The Supermarket

Your suggestions

• One word:cucumber. Need I say more?
  Catherine Free [7 Jan 2003]
• If you meet her in the sanitary napkins aisle, tell her how much more absorbant weetbix is for that "time of the month".
  Damien [7 Jan 2003]
• I went to the supermarket one fateful day, our eyes met across a crouded aisle, and I took her into my arms, and took her home with me. When we got home, I made coffee, stuck her in to oven for 70 minutes, then sliced her open, filled her with butter, and ate her. She was a potato.
  Tony Moss [7 Jan 2003]
• It's not a good idea to buy diarrhea medicine in front of someone you are trying to pick up, especially not if you are buying it in bulk or large quantities. And especially not if you are buying an incredible amount of prune juice with it. But if you feel you must, slip in a few condom packages, and tell the hottie that they can help try them on later while the two of you drink prune juice.
  Rosqa the Romanian Gypsy Child [7 Jan 2003]
• Buy a box of cone icecreams and open it before you get to the checkout. Take out an icecream and lick it slowly while making eye contact with the one you're keen on...in any aisle. Stick the top of the cone in your mouth and don't break the eye contact while slowly moving it in and out of your mouth. Ff this doesn't break the ice...well just keep going...eventually it will. It has to.
  Debbie Thomas [7 Jan 2003]
• Show off your driving skills with a trolley
  Richard Emms [7 Jan 2003]
• Whilst i was doing my daily shopping i came across a large, stiff and hot...carrot. I then had an urge to find the peeler section, which i did -- i found the largest peeler there. I then got my juicy, ripe and dripping...carrot and peeled it slowly in front of one of the delicatessen staff. I watched her slowly, as she became all hot and sticky, and she started making these weird groaning noises... which then became a little overboard so i continued with my shopping. Suddenly i realised that i had been dreaming the whole time whilst i was standing in line. And as i came to my senses i realised that i had shaving my penis with the grater the whole time, and that the latge overweight lady in front of me was the one who was groaning. The End.
  The Carrot Man [7 Jan 2003]
• While living in Port Melbourne a colleage at work suggested that the best way to pick up chicks was singles night at the local Coles Supermarket in Bay Street. Placing a bunch of bananas in the top fold-out part of the trolley indicated your availablity. People actually approaching you as a result of this was entirely up to their discretion. I was never approached.
  Travo [7 Jan 2003]
• A sure way to impress the girls is to hold a bunch of bananas to your crotch, and snicker as you look at them. Then mutter "Not even close are you guys".
  Emmerson Bigguns [7 Jan 2003]
• Go to the ice lollies asile and tell her that you'll give her something juicy and temporarily hard to suck on. trust us, this works, how else do you think we became so satisfied
  Mary and Jemma [7 Jan 2003]
• Never ask a woman if she could show you her cantelopes or melons
  Anonymous [7 Jan 2003]
• Go to the mop and broom aisle and get a broom handle, preferably the thickest one. Then proceed to the produce section and begin eating grapes seductively, letting the juices flow down your chin. If a woman approaches you and responds positively, your in there. If she says something like, "hey your stealing grapes!" hit her with the broom handle and run like hell.
  Danny Wayne [7 Jan 2003]
• I found out the hard way, That if you are interested in a Chick at the supermarket, IT IS NOT in your best intrest to hit her with a sack of Poatoes. *Snifle* She didn't even call me from Intensive care...
  Massive Duckjob [7 Jan 2003]
• When a beautiful women is coming your way, pretend to fall asleep in the aisle. When she tries to wake you, ask her to pinch you because you must be dreaming.
  Tommohawk [7 Jan 2003]
• If you see a top looking sex-bomb coming towards you with her trolley, flag her down. Start conversation with something like you are a mechanic and was wondering if her trolley was a manual or automatic.
  Mr McGoo [7 Jan 2003]
• If you want to start to chat up a good looking girl in the supermarket and use the line: "Havn't we met somewhere before?", make sure you are actually in the supermarket and NOT a VD clinic. Otherwise, results can be quite painful.
  Fuajk [7 Jan 2003]
• Go to the checkout with a pack of condoms and say "Do you come with these or do i have to ring a Number?"
  Hung Like (A Horse) [7 Jan 2003]
• Go to the meat section and say "Could I have a hot beef injection"
  solomen bader [7 Jan 2003]
• Guys, forget the food section and go to the ladies underwear department. Pretend you're a salesman and you specialize in panties. Just before you close the sale, tell her you have to go back and finish your other 2 jobs: watering the flowers and arranging the poetry books. If you don't find true love after trying this a few times, you might as well go back to your wife.
  scott quick [12 Oct 2003]
• Go up to a girl and say "I know there is a set of behaviors one must go through before procreation, but I am unknowledgeable of these behaviors. Could you just assume I did them?"
  John Nash [21 Nov 2003]
• You see a cute man working in the fresh meat dept. Go up to him and tell him. "I like the way you pack your beef"
  Teresa blazinbrunette [7 Feb 2004]
• Don't wear any clothes and see if that attracts anyone. Don't forget to wax.
  Alix Elida Nano [27 Mar 2004]
• Men found in the grapes section are insecure about their body.
  Glen Messacar [4 Jun 2004]
• At the check out say to the guy behind you "Four words: homecooked three course meal." Saves on tranport costs or the need to hang out in bars first
  roarty girl - sydney [7 Jun 2004]
• Follow your cutie to the deli counter and ask most innocently "Blimin 'ell, thats a whopping great frankfurter. You see, I'm making 'toad in the hole' tonight, fancy trying it?" wink*wink
  Marry Poppins [26 Jul 2004]
• Go to the friut and veg section find the biggest sack of potatoes, grab it, go up to the woman you desire and ask her to marry you. If she says no, just whack her over the head and drag her to your car.
  bob mcgee [12 Jun 2007]
• A CARROT MAKES A GOOD LOVE SUBSTITUTE!(APPARENTLY- I FOUND A WILTED ONE ONCE IN THE BATHROOM AT THE GROCERY STORE I WORK AT!YUCK!)
  Heather Grey [12 Aug 2007]

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