How To Save The Whales (and other things in the environment)

Ways Readers Will Save The Planet

• Lock up Parliament - It's a well known fact in the UK that politicians produce more gas than the rest of us put together so reduce carbon dioxide emissions by locking them all in the House of Commons.
  Anonymous Dude [18 Jul 2005]
• Paint yourself green - Photosynthesis uses up CO₂ and if you paint yourself green you will begin to photosynthesise. This will not only help to reduce carbon emissions but will also make the world's food resources go much further as by photosynthesising you can produce your own food.
  Anonymous Dude [18 Jul 2005]
• Train gerbils to do your job for you, with cunning disguises to make your boss think you are being super efficient. They can get to work by themselves, saving the environment by not polluting it with emissions. Except when they crap in your hand.
  Joy [20 Jul 2005]
• Or, you can train gerbils to run in a wheel all day, with a mini generator to power lights and such. Or....My cat is available to sit on people, she likes it and she is always very warm. She is sitting on me now. I cant feel my left arm, though. And she is staring at something on the wall, but I cant see it. The point is, my cat is lovely. Everyone should have a cat. She even sits on my feet.
  Joy [20 Jul 2005]
• Make rockets shaped like drill bits and send them up to drill holes through the atmosphere to let the greenhouse gases escape.
  Cyn Icle [20 Jul 2005]
• Hippies want to save the world. They can do it by committing mass suicide, reducing the world's population
  david arnold [21 Jul 2005]
• Don't worry, when Vin Diesel's on the case, it will get done, with explosions and action and 9-second cars and everything! KABOOM!
  Silent Dan [24 Jul 2005]
• Put it in your will that you want to be cremated when you die. Then have your ashes thrown in the ocean to feed the nice little fishies.
  Some Weird Person [24 Jul 2005]
• Forget the trees. The whales will survive. SAVE THE DINOSAURS! (heard someone say it once)
  Silent Dan [24 Jul 2005]
• Save the Whales, easy! Erect 6 foot fences around the oceans of the world, stick up no trespassing and no fishing signs.
  Capt Nemo [27 Jul 2005]
• How to save the environment in just TEN MINUTES! Smog, waste, war, unsustainable everything! Lets face it folks. There's just too many of us. Healing the environmental disaster that surrounds us all is a simple two step process that will only take ten minutes of your time. Everybody ready? 1/ OK, find somewhere comfortable,relax and take a deep breath. 2/Hold abovementioned breath for ten minutes. Problem solved.
  mantelbrott set [28 Jul 2005]
• Easy, destroy the environment. If there is no environment, then there's nothing to save, Thus case closed! Either that or we could go back in time and destroy humans thus saving the environment before it becomes in danger of humans...but that means no more us, but hey, it's for the environment!
  Agentguy The Sheep [30 Jul 2005]
• Put it all in a stay fresh bag and put it in the fridge
  Ryan Harrison [5 Aug 2005]
• Buses currently run all day. By euthanising the over 55s, they would only need to be run during the peak hours saving about 11 hours per bus per day.
  ChatRat [5 Aug 2005]
• Every household should have a lemon tree in the backyard. The water the men would then not use by flushing would make Australia the world's premier source of lemons.
  ChatRat [5 Aug 2005]
• Half a dozen cows produce enough methane per day to power a large household for 24 hours. 6 cows, 1 generator, 12 feet of rubber hose. You do the math.
  ChatRat [5 Aug 2005]
• Get a friend of yours to mindlessly cut down trees. Then, you come along and save those trees. Simple!
  Some Weird Person [10 Aug 2005]
• Create a committe... oh wait, did you say save?
  Capt Nemo [15 Aug 2005]
• Set off Electro-Magnetic Pulse bombs at key points around the world, thus removing the demand for electricity.
  Wee MAD [20 Aug 2005]
• Well everyone's always complaining about the ozone layer. Let's just get rid of it.
  Richie [26 Aug 2005]
• Buy the Gorskys a Beer - If we can get 'em drunk enough, they may just come up with a plan that's crazy enough to work.
  Or, in their heated discussions, they will come to a point where it takes an hour of yelling, a thrown drink and a knife fight to realise they were in total agreement all along.
  Goldfish Poodle Boy [1 Sep 2005]
• People always say we need a greener planet. Simply fill the oceans with cucumbers, and presto! At least 70% of the world is instantly green
  Drumstick Master [4 Sep 2005]
• Put hippies in charge because then everyone will be so high no one will care about the enviroment anyway.
  david arnold [4 Sep 2005]
• Send all the whales to Mars, there's water up there from what I hear.
  O J [19 Sep 2005]
• Cryogenically freeze all the whales, and send some guy up into the atmosphere with a big hoover to suck out all the CO₂
  fat boy will [27 Sep 2005]
• Wear hats with plants on them, they'll use up the CO₂
  fat boy will [27 Sep 2005]
• It's simple, to reduce water consumption, shower with a friend.
  Grace Insane [12 Oct 2005]
• Stop burning fossil fuels. Burn Republicans!
  TGTS [12 Feb 2006]
• Stop burning fossil fuels. Burn Republicans!
  TGTS [12 Feb 2006]
• Swimming is supposed to be great for you, so let the fat bastard save itself!
  Scott Quick [1 May 2006]
• Captain Planet - Him and his band of Eco-whathaveyous will clean up this planet for us. TV said so - and TV never lies.
  CozB [12 Nov 2006]
• Invent a time machine and sent it to the past to let them deal with it.
  david arnold [8 Jan 2007]

Join Us In Saving The Environment

Do you have a novel, funny way to help save the world. Let us know, and we'll add the funniest to GORSKYS.COMedy.