Has Satan Possessed your PC?

Your possession experiences

• You've got any Microsoft product installed on your system (ie. you let Satan in, and now you'll never get him out).
  Chris [7 Jan 2003]
• Your computer has an adverse reaction when splashed with holy water. Matt Tonkin
• The only way to get your computer to work correctly is human sacrifice
  Laban Elfonso [7 Jan 2003]
• Your desktop wallpaper suddenly changes to a puddle of split-pea soup.
  David Huber [7 Jan 2003]
• Instead of hearing "You've got mail!," You hear "Hail Satan, Lord of Darkness!"
  Ken the Immortal Roman [7 Jan 2003]
• Your computer spits memory chips in terror if anyone in the room mentions God.
  Grace F-H [7 Jan 2003]
• Your recycle bin icon changes to a burning pit and whenever you empty it you hear an evil laugh.
  SIR SHOUTSALOT [7 Jan 2003]
• Your PC crashes for no apearent reason... Ohh wait that's just windows.. never mind...
  Alex "Insert witty name" Cospin [7 Jan 2003]
• All you can download of napster are early Ozzie Osborne
  Yanipoo [7 Jan 2003]
• You go to check your e-mail and notice that it's got 666 messages and each one has a subject heading of I am Satan, please reply!
  Dale 'Cracker' Harbin [7 Jan 2003]
• You try to play Doom, and all the monsters have turned into angels.
  Nathan Randall [7 Jan 2003]
• Your PC starts playing "living dead girl" every time you have mail
  Crystle Renee Gray [7 Jan 2003]
• Your computer crashes every twenty minutes and when it starts up a blaze of fire comes out of the CD drive.
  Andrew Orantes [7 Jan 2003]
• You notice your PC walking behind you each time you take a pee.
  Thran [7 Jan 2003]
• Your computer bombards you with pornography everytime you access the internet.
  Jet D [Actually, that just means your kids have been using your computer - Liam] [7 Jan 2003]
• Word processor uses language and font it has of which it has no previous knowledge.
  Blaze the Destroyer [7 Jan 2003]
• Spell check automatically changes "God" to "that f***ed up sissy bitch"
  simon [7 Jan 2003]
• You discover a shortcut to "The Book of Shadows" on yor desktop.
  Professor Jeeves [7 Jan 2003]
• Your computer Plays "Anti-Christ Superstar" every time you try to listen an an MP3
  Botulizm [7 Jan 2003]
• When you burn a cd, flames come out from every hole in the cabinet.
  Aundray [7 Jan 2003]
• Whenever you try to play a video a moving picture of a wooden puppet comes up and says "Morning (your name), time to die!"
  James Smith [7 Jan 2003]
• Your midi will only play Tubular Bells.
  Joel Bays [7 Jan 2003]
• You swear that every once in a while, the mouse seems to move by itself.
  D Seebs [7 Jan 2003]
• You start up your pc and find XP on it!
  Yxantramon [7 Jan 2003]
• Your computer sets a pornography site as a home page without asking.
  Alan Terry [There are only so many times your Mum will accept that excuse, Alan - Liam] [7 Jan 2003]
• As soon as you find out you got an e-mail from your significant other, the internet disconnects
  Dinah [7 Jan 2003]
• Your mouse mat looks like a ouija board and you keep getting email messages from your great-great-grandma.
  Caroline Eising [7 Jan 2003]
• Instead of the windows music playing when you turn your computer on, blood arises underneath the keys on your keyboard.
  Lissy [7 Jan 2003]
• You need Priest to format your hard drive.
  Moon [7 Jan 2003]
• You are constantly experiencing flashing pictures of Sadam and Bush on your monitor
  James J [27 Jan 2003]
• You clean off the dust on top of the monitor and find a 666 mark.
  Prom Queen [5 Feb 2003]
• Your computer flickers on and off...your internet service keeps redialing itself....and connecting you to your ex......
  Crystal [15 Feb 2003]
• Your computer disappears when you lay your bible near it.
  BadpunK - Really EViL [2 Mar 2003]
• You post on E-bay that you have an old clock you'd like to sell and when you check it you realize your PC just sold your soul.
  Diana Harper [18 May 2003]
• You gaze at the screen and come to hours later with weird red paint on your hands and don't remember where youve been
  Diana Harper [18 May 2003]
• When you hook onto the internet the only web pages you can access is the senior citizen porn site, Granny's Gone Wild
  Diana Harper [18 May 2003]
• It says, "Hi my names chucky, I want to be your friend" everytime you sign on.
  Diana Harper [18 May 2003]
• RE: "Your PC starts playing "living dead girl" every time you have mail" I read "living dead girl" as "Living Doll" and I thought jeez, Cliff Richard, that is fucking scary!
  Katie Hayes [30 May 2003]
• Every time you turn it on you see "Now starting Windows ME"
  dot HACK [6 Jul 2003]
• Your PC eats all your pictures of Elijah Wood and replaces them with a collection of Dick Cheney pictures...without your permission!!!
  Sonia Rose [28 Jul 2003]
• Your computer changes your im name to JASONVORHEESE@friday the 13th.com
  james zabel [28 Aug 2003]
• Your mouse leaves you the number of the beast burned into your hand and the monitor in your forhead
  wuuuu ^_^ [3 Sep 2003]
• I get a 'pop-up' from something called wizzard every 5 minutes asking me if I would like to "stop annoying pop-ups!" If this isn't the Devil at work inside my computer, what is?
  scott quick [12 Oct 2003]
• Your mouse leaks blood all over your mousepad
  Cassi [21 Nov 2003]
• When you discover that that the x icon representing the close button has metamorphosed into a Nazi emblem.
  Some Bozo [22 Dec 2003]
• You find your soul has been auctioned on E-bay
  The One [31 Dec 2003]
• Your screen saver is a picture of a dancing purple dinosuar that was on TV which you could've sworn you killed two weeks ago
  Agent guy [11 Jan 2004]
• You have the utmost desire to light a black candle and run around naked whenever you get spam e-mails.
  Rory McMoose [12 Feb 2004]
• Every time you check your account, it transfers all your money to Bill Gates.
  marc dennis [2 May 2004]
• It changes your IP address to 666.666.666, your favorite web page to www.hell.com, and bookmarks sites of unspeakable horror and temptation. Just like any computer virus.
  THE Xi [14 Jun 2004]
• Your CD-Burner really burns your CD's
  Dirk Vrensen [19 Oct 2004]
• Your fan is spitting flames.
  alst none [5 Nov 2004]
• It has a pointy red tail and a pitch fork.
  Jerm (I EAT POO) [24 Mar 2005]
• If the wires try to eat your head.
  patrick the evil slave bunny to his brother [24 Mar 2005]
• If It Takes All Your Music That Is Not Death Metal, and It Will Turn It Into Death Metal
  Punky Joe [4 Feb 2008]

Has your PC been possessed?

Fill in the form below to let us know the symptoms. We'll add the best suggestions to GORSKYS.COMedy.