Reasons To Be Rich

When you're poor and insane, they put you in an asylum. When you're rich, and insane, they call you eccentric.

Reasons Readers Reckon It's Great To Be Rich

• You can be the biggest nerd in the world, and still be part of the cool crowd. (well sort of... is bill gates cool?)
  madgorgon [7 Jan 2003]
• Ya can buy another island for midgets to live on cos they scare the crap outta ya!
  mary xmas [7 Jan 2003]
• If you kill your wife, you can buy a lawyer who will blame it on racism.
  Barrett Cool [7 Jan 2003]
• There really is no better feeling than being in a position to knock down the houses of those who hate you to build a shopping centre for the hell of it.
  Andrew Brisbane [7 Jan 2003]
• If you're watching TV and and don't like the show thats on, broadcast re-programming is just a phone call away!
  Andrew Brisbane [7 Jan 2003]
• You can enjoy the pleasure of the most expensive hooker in the world whilst drinking the worlds finest coffee and at no point even care which is better than the other!
  Andrew Brisbane [7 Jan 2003]
• When you get arrested you just buy the gouvernment.
  Izzy Wolfrider [7 Jan 2003]
• You can make your parents stop nagging you. BUY new parents!
  NeonButterfly_Cyanide [7 Jan 2003]
• They say that money con't buy you happiness but it doesn't matter that you're just renting sizeable chunks of it for the rest of your natural.
  Gordy Clarke [7 Jan 2003]
• The best reason would be to fund someone to track down and kill Spiny Norman so that he stops bothering me.
  Dinsdale Piranha [7 Jan 2003]
• You can't hear you wife nagging you at the dinner table because she's 100 ft away down the other end of it.
  Andrew Brisbane [7 Jan 2003]
• Wiping with twenties (Think about it).
  Neil Spencer Hiatt [7 Jan 2003]
• You could buy the Gorskys a drink... maybe more than one!
  HpN [7 Jan 2003]
• Having the email address richest.prick@world.com
  Andrew Brisbane [7 Jan 2003]
• You could afford to purchase as many as THREE ITEMS from the Candy Bar at the movies.
  Brian Vo [7 Jan 2003]
• Not having to suck up to the Gorskys by telling them if you got rich you'd buy them beer.
  R.R. Daniel Kahn [7 Jan 2003]
• Play Monopoly® with real money, real hotels and a giant man-sized thimble made of titanium.
  Brian Vo [7 Jan 2003]
• To save wear and tear on your VCR, you can hire the Wiggles, so your kids can watch them perform the same ten songs, five times a day for the next three weeks.
  Cam Castles [26 Jan 2003]
• When you're as rich as the Gorsky's, you don't have to update your website for two months.
  Andy Richards [29 Jan 2003]
• You can build an airport over the top of your old high school and laugh every time your private jet lands on top of where the principal's office used to be.
  Tanya H [29 Jan 2003]
• You can finally see if it really is possible to swim around in a money bin.
  Tanya H [29 Jan 2003]
• You can employ all the people you hated in highschool to do the menial work in your new sewage treatment plant, then fire them for being too sloppy.
  Tanya H [29 Jan 2003]
• You have the power and influence to finally make a difference. Compassionately use your political connections to get the refugees released from Woomera detention centre, and replace them with hippies who are far more irritating.
  Tanya H [30 Jan 2003]
• White people will let you play golf with them and make small talk.
  Vamsi Reddy [31 Jan 2003]
• You can walk through a posh neighbourhood and shout " You wouldn't catch me living in the shithole"...or walk past Buckingham palace saying "Bought it"
  Tracy cawkwell [3 Feb 2003]
• You can roll around in big pilles of hundred dollar bills.
  Kitty Sedai [13 Feb 2003]
• You don't have to worry about dating insufferable fellows who secretly wish they were rich only so that they could kill their wives or hire porno stars. You could take yourself to dinner and liberate the porno stars by offering them grants for performance art.
  Debra Rymer [16 Feb 2003]
• You can go back to work for the worst boss you've previously had, slack off to the point of dismissal, buy the company and instead sack your boss (if they were particularly evil, follow your boss from company to company until they leap from the roof).
  Tris M [16 Feb 2003]
• You can become the President of a powerful nation despite being a complete idiot.
  Will G [23 Feb 2003]
• You can use your body clock in the mornings, not the alarm clock.
  mervyn etie [26 Feb 2003]
• You'll actually have a chance at scoring with the girl that you really like. Wouldn't that be nice.
  Goldfish Poodle Boy [27 Feb 2003]
• Car broke down? Buy another. Puncture? Buy another car.
  Pegasus All man part horse [3 Mar 2003]
• Buy all power, water and gas utility companies in the world, and have a little fun flicking the supplies on and off!
  Pegasus All man part horse [3 Mar 2003]
• Just buy the world and if anybody compains, drown them in the ocean
  BC wouldn't you like to know [12 Mar 2003]
• You can make you and your oil friends richer by starting a war and gas prices go up.
  Phil McKreviss [17 Mar 2003]
• You won't kick yourself so hard when you win $50,000,000.00 on the internet but the computer crashes before you can claim you money.
  Goldfish Poodle Boy [10 May 2003]
• When your rich you can hire people to teach spelling to all the readers of Gorskys so you don't have to spend 20 minutes deciphering each comment. [And if you're really rich, you can teach the whingers the difference between "your" and "you're" - Liam]
  Dog Legge [13 May 2003]
• Andrew Brisbane could buy his way into The Gorskys so doesn't have to spend half his life on the net submitting "funny" comments
  Dog Legge [13 May 2003]
• The men don't have to wank any more. They can get someone else to do it.
  Krystal Brown [22 May 2003]
• You can smoke a trillion dollar bill.
  Harry H [16 Jun 2003]
• You could buy a poor person as a pet
  Kurt Richardson [9 Jul 2003]
• You can pay someone to shave your armpits.
  loopy kat [26 Jul 2003]
• You can buy a house next to Bill Gates's and let your dog piddle in his yard when he's not looking.
  Cassandra Cass [16 Sep 2003]
• You can pay someone to go to the toilet for you.
  Daniel Brisbane [13 Oct 2003]
• Filling your pool with porridge and skinny dipping in it. You'll never know pleasure like the feeling of it dripping off you.
  ChatRat [21 Nov 2003]
• You can tell the captain of the QE2 that his tub will just have to wait until you're ready to leave.
  ChatRat [21 Nov 2003]
• To save wear and tear on your VCR, you can hire the Wiggles, so your kids can watch them perform the same ten songs, five times a day for the next three weeks.
  Cam Castles [21 Nov 2003]
• You could have the Wiggles kidnapped so that you could tie them down and force them to watch one of there videos five times a day for the next three weeks and see how they like it!
  Cam Castles [21 Nov 2003]
• You could buy Jeff Wiggle a life time supply of No-Doze
  Cam Castles [21 Nov 2003]
• You could get laid by anyone and have the great feeling of being used just cuz your money!
  Joemamahazadic Ferreelz [21 Nov 2003]
• You'll be able to move out of that cardboard box, and you could claim something better than an antenna as a pet.
  Goldfish Poodle Boy [24 Nov 2003]
• The opportunity to crush each and every spammer on the planet. Nothing says "I do not want to recieve any more emails" like low-yield nuclear warheads.
  Alex Holker [1 Jan 2004]
• I've always wanted to "buy off" the person that has the copyrights to the alphabet, and rearrange it just for a "joke!"
  scott quick [6 Jan 2004]
• $50 bills make great toilet paper
  david arnold [28 May 2005]
• $20 dollar bills make great toilet paper for your dog
  david arnold [26 Aug 2005]
• $10 dollar bills make great toilet paper for your cat
  david arnold [26 Aug 2005]
• $5 bills make great toilet paper for your hamster/guinea pig or other smalll furry rodent that craps on everthing
  david arnold [26 Aug 2005]

What Do You Think Is Great About Being Filthy Rich?

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