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Surviving The Recession

George W. Bush - One Last Swipe

Punnet Hollywood

Generators and Quizzes

How To Build Confidence

Strict Rules for the Beijing Olympics 2008

New Words for the English Dictionary

Playing To Offend: Criminal Video Games

All-New Deadly Sins

How Paranoid Are You?

George W Bush shaking hands with an alien overlord.
George W Bush meeting his alien overlord? What do you believe? Fill in our paranoia quiz.

Are you paranoid, or are the bastards really out to get you?

We live in amazing times.

All your grocery purchases are tracked via your loyalty program card, your cell phone transmits your global position, and every email you send is saved on dozens of computers on its path to the recipient.

There are a lot of things to be paranoid about.

Have you let Big Brother get to you? Are you totally paranoid, or totally clueless about what's really going down?

Complete our simple quiz to find out.

1. You go to a restaurant and a man approaches you. Is he:

	The waiter.
	Your stalker.
	A policeman about to arrest you for accidentally visiting a porn site.

2. Right now you are:

	Happily filling in a quiz.
	Filling in a quiz and wondering which government agency the answers are going to.
	Worrying about who's watching you filling in a quiz.
	Revealing personal information to be used against you by spammers.

3. Your friend asks "How are you?" Do you

	Tell him "Fine, thanks!" No matter how you are feeling.
	Avoid answering by asking "How are you?"
	Ask to see his search warrant before answering any further questions.

4. How many locks do you have on your front door?

	One.
	Two. A dead lock and a slide bolt.
	I use DNA scanning to admit people.
	I don't have any locks.
	I don't have any locks. My pit bull terrier deals with intruders.

5. The voices in your head are:

	Friendly.
	Sinister.
	Forming a collective to have you evicted.
	The Black-eyed Peas singing that annoying "Shut Up" song.

6. Your mother is:

	Your mother.
	A spy.
	A robot replicant of your mother.
	Out to get you.

7. Neil Armstrong:

	Was the first man on the moon.
	Took part in the largest hoax ever perpetrated on mankind.
	Was great on The Simpsons.

8. When the phone rings you:

	Answer it.
	Turn on the line tracing machine to work out who is calling you.
	Spray it with disinfectant and put on a medical face mask before answering it.

9. You keep your fingernails long because:

	It's fashionable and looks good.
	Cutting them could compromise your immune system.
	You can use the talons to scratch an attacker so that CSI will find it easier to track their DNA from the skin cells.

10. The glass is:

	Half full.
	Half empty.
	Poisoned.

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March 2004

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