Shakespeare is a man who not only made up a lot of words, but also had a soulpatch 400 years before the word was included in the dictionary.
Every year, many new words are added to the dictionary as the English language steadily evolves. Earlier this year, the Merriam-Webster dictionary added words such as unibrow, spyware and soulpatch. Yeah, that’s right: ’soulpatch’.
Ever since I was a child, I have dreamt of getting my own made-up word into the dictionary but, no matter how hard I tried, words such as ‘wankleclown’ (a silly person), ‘nostrilmonkey’ (a big booger) or ‘gordonpinkrod’(male genitalia) have never made it into the lexicon.
Sometimes words just accidentally begin to exist: ‘google’ is now a generic verb for searching the internet, ‘bandaid’ is a generic word for a plastic strip, and we wouldn’t ‘hoover’ the carpet if it weren’t for J. Edgar.
So here’s the GORSKYS.COMedy new words for a modern world which we’re hoping Merriams or Oxford discover and consider for their next edition.
- Myspacery (n) – A discovery that all the friends you thought you had are imaginary.
- Britney (n) – A situation that is spiralling out of control. I.e. Lately our relationship has gone from bad to Britney.
- Wikism (n) – A piece of information that claims to be true, but is wildly inaccurate. I.e. It is a wikism that Steven Seagal is a brilliant actor.
- Brangelinaesque (adj) – A disgustingly-perfect match of two sought-after items. I.e. This is a brangelinaesque peanut butter and jam sandwich.
- Olsens (n) – Another name for a pair of drumsticks.
- Youtubular (adj) – A receptacle, primarily full of rubbish, for discarding mediocre items for other people to find.
- Georgebushanoia (n) – A feeling that you’ve been metaphorically rectally raped over and over for seven years.
- Lucasize (v) –A great and wonderful idea that has been taken a step too far. I.e. You have completely lucasized your essay by tacking on that extra paragraph.
- Jackomess (v) – The situation after a plastic surgery prodcedure that has made the recipient look more like an alien.
- Jackonial (v) – A defiant claim by a person that they never had any plastic surgery when they clearly have because they look more like an alien.
- Trumpstyle (n) – Any hairstyle that is so bad it beats every other bad hairstyle you’ve ever seen.
- Idol (n) – Whilst already a word in the English language, described as “a person or thing that is greatly admired, loved, or revered”, a second meaning should be added: “mundane, pointless, b-grade celebrity-hungry hack”
Psychodentistry (n.) – 1. The practice of dealing with fear of going to the dentist. 2. Putting a lot of effort into trying to get information out of somebody who does not want to reveal it: \
Phenomenot – Something that doesn’t exist. Eg. "The WMDs in Iraq are an interesting phenomenot."
Cuppateano – It\’s like a cappuccino, but it\’s just an ordinary cup of tea. It sounds good though when you\’re ordering a cup of tea at a posh cafe.
Gaybie – (n.) the child adopted by a gay couple.
Therapist – The one all other sex offenders look up to
Catify – To release several cats into an enclosed location; e.g- stop calling or i\’ll catify your house.
Googlize – Search for your ex or crush on google millions of times to see what they are up to and if they like you still.
1) TERRIER-IST
2) TERRIER-ISM
No explaination required for anyone who has ever owned a Terrier
NomNomNomNom – I’m hungry and eating your head
Doof – Food! Glorious Food!
mmm dinner time
Analrapist (n) – 1. A person who is both an analyst and a therapist. 2. Somebody who makes you need to visit the former. (I believe this word may have already been submitted to the dictionary by one Tobias Fünke? – Ed)
lol – the suggestion used out of context that something is humorous, but not so obscenely funny as to make you laugh out loud.
Peenarse – someone that drives at 25 in a 30 zone.
Twastard – someone who annoys you .
Analogise (v) – 1. To make an analogy. 2. Study of buttsex. word use: “I’m trying to analogise here!”
word building: Analogist
C-Spot (n) Colloq. – Clitoris
McSexy (n) – The quality or condition of being sexy enough for a bogan or homeless person to have you for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Owiisety -
Weight problem resulting from children who think they are getting enough exercise from their game console.
Hari-Corey –
A traditional act of suicide performed when unworthy people become well-paid celebrities and all faith in the world is lost.
Rudd-er -
A device that gives you the appearance of heading in a new direction but actually maintains the same course.
wackadamia – white chocolate macadamia stuff (I accidentally used this word tonight when ordering white chocolate macadamia nut cheesecake. I thought it was too awesome not to share.)