Every year many new words are added to the dictionary as the English language steadily evolves. Earlier this year the Merriam-Webster dictionary added words such as unibrow, spyware and soulpatch. Yeah, that’s right, soulpatch.
Ever since I was a child I have dreamt of getting my own made up word into the dictionary but, no matter how hard I tried, words such as wankleclown (a silly person), nostrilmonkey (a big booger) or gordonpinkrod (male genitalia) have never made it into the lexicon.
Sometimes words just accidentally begin to exist – “google” is now a generic verb for searching the internet, “bandaid” is a generic word for a plastic strip and we wouldn’t “hoover” the carpet if it weren’t for J. Edgar.
So here’s the GORSKYS.COMedy new words for a modern world which we’re hoping Merriams or Oxford discover and consider for their next edition.
- Myspacery (n) – A discovery that all the friends you thought you had are all imaginary.
- Britney (n) – A situation that is spiralling out of control. Ie. Lately our relationship has gone from bad to britney.
- Wikism (n) – A piece of information that claims to be true, but is wildly inaccurate. Ie. It is a wikism that Steven Seagal is a brilliant actor.
- Brangelinaesque (adj) – A disgustingly perfect match of two sought after items. Ie. This is a brangelinaesque peanut butter and jam sandwich.
- Olsens (n) - Another name for a pair of drumsticks.
- Youtubular (adj) – A receptacle, primarily full of rubbish, for discarding mediocre items for other people to find.
- Georgebushanoia (n) – A feeling that you’ve been metaphorically rectally raped over and over for 7 years.
- Lucasize (v) –A great and wonderful idea that has been taken a step too far. Ie. You have completely lucasized your essay by tacking on that extra paragraph.
- Jackomess (v) – The situation after a plastic surgery prodcedure that has made the recipient look more like an alien.
- Jackonial (v) – A defiant claim by a person that they never had any plastic surgery when they clearly have because they look more like an alien.
- Trumpstyle (n) – Any hairstyle that is so bad it beats every other bad hairstyle you’ve ever seen.
- Idol (n) – Whilst already a word in the English language described as “a person or thing that is greatly admired, loved, or revered”, a second meaning should be added “mundane, pointless, b-grade celebrity-hungry hack”
