How To Commit Adultery

Your Adultery Tips

• A usefull tip. If your woman gets you a pager, politely decline... if she gets you a cell phone, RUN!
  Nathan Randall [6 Jan 2003]
• If you know your partner has committed adultery but you didn't want to leave her at the time because you didn't want to be on your own, chances are further on down the track somebody else will come along and save you from yourself. You can then do the whole thing. Commit adultery yourself and pay back your adulterous floozy of a partner, you can dump her and say how terribly her adulterous ways had affected you and explain that although it was quite a few years ago,you've only just had time to think about the extent of the pain the adulterous behaviour had inflicted on you. You can commit adultery as well as blame somebody else for your behaviour. WIN WIN I say.
  Debbie Thomas [6 Jan 2003]
• If you get caught, I always use the line "But honey, I was thinking of you at the time." They love that...
  Tommohawk [6 Jan 2003]
• Use your business to book a few hours with an Escort. Ask for a tax receipt and claim the expense as a consultancy fee.
  Shady [6 Jan 2003]
• If you are going to do it in a car use a 1956 Cheverolet - the front seat makes a great work bench! If you want use a motel- buy an MG you can there quicker!
  Brian Thornton [6 Jan 2003]
• Get someone to hypnotise you to help you improve yourself... You will find yourself shedding 250 pounds of useless fat (called Mark, who is a twat, and a sad mummy's boy anyway), lessening the need for an adulterous fling. But being with Mark The Twat (1987-To present day-reigning champion of all Twats) has put you off lager stained pricks for life and you are now happily shacked up with his sister, Mary. Cool. Now you dont have to fake your orgasms.
  Joy [6 Jan 2003]
• Tennis players are exempt from being true "adulters"...after all, love means nothing to them anyway.
  Bryan Baker [6 Jan 2003]
• Simply start to act as though you have a multiple personality disorder. Not only will your other half become more caring towards you, but you can also blame one of your alter-egos if you ever get caught.
  Paul [6 Jan 2003]
• Divorce your wife, marry someone you hate, then have sex with your ex, that way you can both feel naughty.
  Duncan Fairhurst [6 Jan 2003]
• If you get caught, inform your partner that you were interviewing possible candidates for that threesome you talked about.
  Matt Capon [6 Jan 2003]
• Don't sell tickets to the event
  Penis McHotlove [13 Apr 2003]
• It's only considered adultery if you do it in the same postcode. Do it in the next postcode over from you and you're OK.
  Demosthien [18 Sep 2003]
• Sleep with the Chief of Police's wife or daughter. At least when you go to jail the inmates will respect you so much, you may NOT have to commit "forced adultery" with a big hairy guy named Bubba.
  scott quick [12 Oct 2003]
• If you dont want to see them again, say "I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, every day and night will be like paradise!" This will get rid of them quick smart.
  toni blackwell [27 Dec 2003]
• If caught out, you can't go past the excuse "I could never disrespect you enough to do the filthy stuff I did to her."
  Tris [20 Dec 2004]

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