Handy Home Money Saving Hints

Chris uses his pet pony to help save money.

Readers Tips

• Instead of hiring movies. Stay inside the store and watch what they are playing.
  Lauren Silly Pants [6 Jan 2003]
• Instead of going to the cinema and paying to watch the movie. Remember the preview from the last one and use your imagination.
  Lauren Silly Pants [6 Jan 2003]
• For those of you who have siezures, take your laundry with you in the tub. Saves on washing machines.
  Drunk Punk [6 Jan 2003]
• Why not fill laddered hosiery and nail clipping to create a very effective dish scourer.
  Lauren Silly Pants [6 Jan 2003]
• When the batteries have gone flat in your remote, invite yourself over to a mate's and swap them with his. Same goes for light bulbs.
  Tommohawk [6 Jan 2003]
• Save on butchers' bills by poaching neighborhood pets. In addition, add a bit of pasta to roadkill for home-made roadkill helper.
  Rob Paige [6 Jan 2003]
• Have a bath wearing your entire wardrobe. Use Persil Automatic and splash about a lot. Hey presto, clean clothes and nice smelling bits.
  A T [6 Jan 2003]
• Save money by reusing your water. Firstly, leave the plug in the drain when you shower. Next, use the water you've skillfully trapped to wash your dishes. Then wash your dog and the kids if you've got any. When done use this water to make tea for you and the vicar, remembering to boil the water first to remove any nasties
  Sigh Phi [6 Jan 2003]
• Instead of using precious water from your tap for drinking just drink from your common ground puddle.
  Matt Green [6 Jan 2003]
• Dont use toilet paper use your hand instead they are both washable.
  dee mcgannan [6 Jan 2003]
• Don't buy expensive nails! Simply walk about bare foot a lot! After a while you'll have found plenty of interesting items just "lying around"! Who knows, you may cut your medical bills down too, if you find a misplaced hospital needle.
  Michael Connell [6 Jan 2003]
• Has the family pet died? Don't throw it out! Thanks to Rigor Mortis they can be shaped into intesting house furniture. If you coat the corpse in enough nail varnish, they won't decompose either.
  Michael Connell [6 Jan 2003]
• Earwax makes reliable and low-cost candles.
  Reece Duncan [6 Jan 2003]
• Make a delicious soup by adding water to a pan you cooked food in the night before and simmering for 10 minutes.
  Ross Barley [Great if last night's dinner was pizza - Liam] [6 Jan 2003]
• Planning a wedding? Easy, you can never can go past the good old packet cake, lace curtian dress, byo drinks and food and chair, streamers and birthday ballons left over from your brothers 18th, or, if you're the guest, some free sample perfume from your bathroom drawer wrapped in some nice butcher's paper!
  Jess and Mat Meldrum [6 Jan 2003]
• To save on your phone bill, when you ring friends' mobile (or to any other phones with caller id), dial the number and hang up before your friend can pick up your call. It won't cost you anything!! Since they have caller id, they know who to call back. If they don't call back in 15 seconds after you hang up, "beep" them again, and again, and again, until they get really annoyed and have to call you back to tell you to stop, then you could "talk" to them.
  Michael Lau [6 Jan 2003]
• Put up wall paper with blue tack so that you can take it down when you move.
  Fiona Wood [6 Jan 2003]
• Send party invitations via the internet (free!)... spam everyone in your community. Tell them it's pot luck and to bring a dish. Dress your daughter like Linda Blair's character from the Exorcist...have her spit up pea soup, in turn, you must warn your guests that she is contagious...before the party encourage her to touch as many people as she can. Watch them scurry. Freeze appropriate foods for future use. If someone has a weak heart and dies, be sure to save one of the dishes for the wake. A good, think ahead idea that will save you time and money.
  Sheridan Leigh [6 Jan 2003]
• Meet your quota of one personal injury case per month. Finally, when you can no longer injure yourself due to permanent disability, seek government assistance for the duration of your life.
  Sheridan Leigh [6 Jan 2003]
• Prepare Mac and Cheese as directed, only from now on, add 1 tsp. syrup of ipecac per serving. You can have leftovers , again and again, and again....
  Sheridan Leigh [6 Jan 2003]
• Never buy toilet paper again! Just slip your legs through the handles of a grocery store shopping bag and VOILA!!! Change the bag once a week. Saves on buying underwear too!!
  Julia Barrick [6 Jan 2003]
• Become a nudist. Save a fortune. Be guaranteed to stand out in a crowd
  Ron Bingham [6 Jan 2003]
• Leave your doors open all the time. You will save money somehow. Remember leave them wide open and UNLOCKED.
  Mike Ricci [That sounds like a 'get poor, quick' scheme to me, Mike - Liam] [6 Jan 2003]
• Don't throw out used condoms. Rinse them out, apply plenty off KY gel or some other lubricant and you're in like Flynn...again and again and again.
  Debbie Thomas [6 Jan 2003]
• Volunteer a few hours a week to work in an op shop. Make sure it's in a 'better' suburb. You'll be first to grab all the goodies that get donated.
  Debbie Thomas [6 Jan 2003]
• When travelling overseas, make sure you only use other peoples' hotel with compliments drinks vouchers - this way you can sell yours at a cheaper rate to visitors staying longer thank you.
  Debbie Thomas [6 Jan 2003]
• When going out to a restaurant with a group, don't order anything - just say you've come for the company. Just ask for a little taste of everybody elses once the meals have arrived.
  Debbie Thomas [6 Jan 2003]
• When going out to cafes/restaurants etc with friends, under no circumstances take out your wallet-let them pay. When the waiter brings back the change on the plate, make sure you get to it before your friend foolishly leaves it as a tip for the waiter.
  Debbie Thomas [6 Jan 2003]
• Buy black clothes because when they get dirty you cant see it. Also move into a potato sack, hurt yourself to get money from the insurance companies, go to other peoples houses to eat food there, re-use the same napkin more than 20 times, also sign up for contests like this to get free things so you dont have to buy them.
  Albert Franco [6 Jan 2003]
• In response to the debate over how one knows the left sock has disappeared in the washing, surely its the right sock that disappears because the remaining sock is left.
  Trev [6 Jan 2003]
• Dwell in darkness. Saves electricity. Pretend you're a dog and use the backyard. Saves water bill on plumbing. Exist only on Ramen noodles and water.
  Gavinator [6 Jan 2003]
• Meals need not be material things: Entreé - A light starter of disbelief. Main - Steamed Incredulity, grilled amazement and a side dish of bemusement. Desert - Chilled discontent topped with a crisp wafer of disgruntlement. After dinner drinks - Piping hot anger with a generous dollop of wrath.
  Simon O'Connor [6 Jan 2003]
• Run out into the middle of the street and get hit by a car. Your insurance will pay for it and you will get free food, lay around and watch TV all day and if you need a rub, ring the nurse. If you're lucky, she'll be cute.
  Ken Trayling [6 Jan 2003]
• Take a potato from your potato jar and throw it through your window, allowing the cool breeze to enter, saving money on air conditioning and ventilation. While you're at it too, train your dog to fetch your beer, but make sure he doesn't drink it first. Bad dog!
  The Immortal Roman [6 Jan 2003]
• Again on washing... who needs to? Just put all your clothes in a pile in the corner. The sweat from wearing them will eventually run through from the clothes on top to the bottom, hence effectively washing them. Then, simply spray with Brut, Lynx Rexona for a lasting freshness.
  Norm Marsh [6 Jan 2003]
• Seal all external doors and windows up. Not only does this save on wear and tear on the door handles and hinges, it also stops you from going outside and spending any money AND stops criminal types entering and stealing any posessions you DO have.
  Ron Bingham [6 Jan 2003]
• Just a comment really ... to Margrethe Baustad ... how do you know it's the left sock that always goes missing?
  Ange [Yes! Excellent question, Ange - Liam] [6 Jan 2003]
• Got an old incontinent relo? Don't waste money on inontinence pads for them. Tell them to stick an old aluminium plate down their pants instead. Just like their own portable bed pan...and a bigger and fatter inheritance for you.
  Debbie Thomas [6 Jan 2003]
• If you've got kids, ban all their friends from visiting. They drink your milk and eat whatever the can. You'll save heaps and even be able afford the shrink's bills for the kids further on down the track.
  Debbie Thomas [6 Jan 2003]
• If you've got kids, don't let them bring their friends over so they don't wear out the carpets, polished floors or lino. All of these are expenisve to replace. You'll save heaps.
  Debbie Thomas [6 Jan 2003]
• Spend the $1.99 you do have on a 40 oz. so you don't have to think about how damn poor you are.
  John Conlin [6 Jan 2003]
• Stop washing your socks. It is, and always have been, a well-known fact that everytime you wash your socks in the washing machine, the left sock almost always disappears. By not washing your socks, you won`t be losing so many socks, and, as a result to that, you will not have to buy new pairs of socks all the time!!!
  Margrethe Baustad [6 Jan 2003]
• Instead of buying new clothes, kill your sister/brother/mother/father/other close relatives, this way, you will cut down on your foodexpenses, and you can take their old clothes. It`s not as if they`ll be needing them!!!
  Margrethe Baustad [6 Jan 2003]
• Instead of smoking marajuana, smoke oregano... your friends will never know the difference and get stoned from the placebo.
  Nathan Randall [6 Jan 2003]
• Live in your parent's house....and promise to move out soon when you "get around to getting a job"..great strategy for married folk w/ kids.
  Bryan Baker [6 Jan 2003]
• Remember that one pair of underpants can be used 4 times: forwards, backwards, inside-out forwards, inside-out backwards.
  Kevin L [This works even better if you wear crotchless undies - Liam] [6 Jan 2003]
• Do you really need to flush your toilet every time you use it? Keep a log book on the top of your toilet, and make sure it only gets flushed (half flush of course) after every twenty uses.
  Bridget Flood [6 Jan 2003]
• Do you live near a timber mill? Ask them for some free sawdust - it's become an indispensible ingredient in my kitchen. Excellent for thickening soups, adding fibre to cereal, cake and biscuit baking, using instead of parmesan on pasta and extending cheap cuts of "meat". And for free!
  Bridget Flood [6 Jan 2003]
• Cut down on the water bill, pee in the sink.
  Mr.E [6 Jan 2003]
• Go to work, but instead of going home and running up expensive bills, say you are homeless and live in hostels and get free meals.
  Tracy Cawkwell [3 Feb 2003]
• Save on bills by running a power extension cable to your nextdoor neighbours meter box outlet. Use their garden tap to wash your car and water your plants.
  Pegasus All man part horse [7 Mar 2003]
• Get married to a guy your size. Get a divorce. You'll get to keep 80% of his stuff (including the clothes you already know fit you).
  scott quick [27 Jul 2003]
• Don't take showers, just jump in the neighbor's pool. Use your hair dryer as a towel, but dont forget to hook it up to your neighbors electrical box.
  slacker [28 Jul 2003]
• Why go out and spend goo money on a paper weight when you can simply starve your husband/wife/mum/dad/kid/sibling (saving money for food too!!) then use their shrunken head as a paperweight. Everyone's a winner!
  Aaron McCully [19 Jul 2004]
• Jack up the rear suspension of your car. You will then allways driving down hill and saving on your fuel costs.
  Alan Hughes [21 Mar 2005]
• Have all your relatives and pets cremated and use the ashes as fertiliser on the garden. Your roses will love you!
  Gemmy Boothwright [1 Jul 2005]
• Turn your home into a bed and breakfast by putting a B&B sign up on your front lawn. You can then claim all of your living expenses as a tax deduction. Get rid of unwanted guests by simply placing a "no vacancy" notice under your sign or providing an incorrect phone number.
  Fozzy Bear [5 Apr 2006]

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