Gorsky Park - More fun than actually possible!

Enjoy the world's only 'above water' aquariaum at Gorsky Park's Whaleworld. Climb the carcase of a dead sperm whale. Fun for the whole family. BYO nose plugs

Your favourite attractions

• Death-ny Land - When a child says they are going to 'Death-ny Land' its sounds like they are saying it cutely with a lisp, but Death-ny Land is NOT cute! This is a place where the Disney characters go bad.
  Kaite F [6 Jan 2003]
• The Line Ride - Line up in a queue for an hour or more just for the hell of it!
  Mike [6 Jan 2003]
• The Death Wish - sorta like the Dreamworld 'Giant Drop' ride where u free fall 39 storeys only nothing is stopping you from hitting the ground. WARNING: Do not ride this if you have no problems with he way your life is heading.
  Kaite F [6 Jan 2003]
• The Vendor-Bender - Thrill as you line up for hours until you finally get to the front of the line and insert your $1.60 into the magic slot! But it doesn't end there - One of three things will happen. You will either... a) Hear the clink of your cash being accepted, press the "Mars Bar" button and wait several minutes as nothing happens until the Janitor walks by and tells you the machine's Out of Order... b) Hear the clink of your cash being accepted, press the "Mars Bar" button and watch in fascination as the Vender-Bender spews out a packet of Peanut M&Ms, or... c) Wait for the clink of your cash being accepted, but instead find that it has been spewed out of another slot. Repeat several times, kicking of machine optional... Hours of fun for the whole family!
  Jessica [6 Jan 2003]
• Mr. Simpson's Mild Ride - - rill as you put on a pair of Bruno Magli shoes and get behind the wheel of a white Ford Bronco to evade pursuit and capture at astonishingly low speeds on a simulated LA freeway.
  Robespierre Mullet [6 Jan 2003]
• Fast Food Thrill House - Form a terribly long chain of contestants to make the worst take-away food you have ever tasted, out of the oldest ingredients you can find. You even get to eat it yourself!
  Bob the dog [6 Jan 2003]
• Adam Ant Farm - Take the kiddies to see crazy antics of has been rockers & one hit wonders in their natural habitat. Nocturnal exhibit.
  Mad Gorgon [6 Jan 2003]
• The Geriatric House of Horrors - Not for the faint of heart. A house full of walkers, pictures of old people, sponge baths, and soiled adult diapers. With the frightening Alzheimers room where the employees forget where they are, and also dispense various medications to paying patrons.
  Anonymous [6 Jan 2003]
• Da' Land Of Yellow Snow - wander through the miles of yellow snow covered land and try not to fall over or eat the snow
  Khalid Sarwar [6 Jan 2003]
• The Lobotomy Experience - Enjoy the freedom of being a complete half wit when one of our 'experts' (ie a urine soaked homeless person who talks to street signs and eats tree bark with 15 minutes tuition on how to use his thumbs) removes part of your brain using a hook deftly inserted into your skull via your nose - just like the ancient Egyptians did it!!! Yes, feel like a Pharoah as this chook lotto of neurosurgery randomly removes those brain cells which stop you from becoming a Prime Minister, a Spin Bowler or a degenerate Governor General.
  C.W.Hague [6 Jan 2003]
• Kleptomaniac Kastle - The only bouncy castle you don't take you're shoes off for.
  Mad Gorgon [6 Jan 2003]
• Cartoon-A-Tron - Try out impersonating cartoon characters. Now you can really see what happens when someone gets crushed by an anvil. Intensive care available for those who can pay ten times the normal price.
  King Me [6 Jan 2003]
• Harry Pothead Experience - walk through a simulated Dandenong carrying your broomstick and avoid being asked if you are chasing.
  Ronald Duck [6 Jan 2003]
• How To Rob A Bank Experience - aken through a model of a real bank and shown just how to get all of the money possible, with the most amount of injuries to others. The guides are escaped criminals, who will equip you with these skills for life.
  R.S.Hague [6 Jan 2003]
• The Server - rone to crashes. Currently out of service.
  Tom Paine [6 Jan 2003]
• The Gravitron - xperience the thrilling fun and fear of gravity by jumping off a six foot wall on to the ground, experiencing Newtons favourite force first hand.
  Jake Wilson [6 Jan 2003]
• The Tron-a-tron - Watch continual screenings of the movie Tron. Warning, you may become sick!
  Mad Gorgon [6 Jan 2003]
• The Harry Potter Experience - where laughing children play at being their favourite wizard and promptly have an injunction slapped on them by large men in the employ of Warner Brothers.
  lemuel gulliver [6 Jan 2003]
• Dentist Land - Rides such as The Up & Down Chair, Thrill of the Drill, Pin The Needle On The Nerve, Cavity-A-Go-Go. Oh, what a filling! ($300 per half hour. Will accept medicare rebates.)
  Mad Gorgon [6 Jan 2003]
• Attraction Attraction - In our super trendy dance club, purchase one of those "Sexual Human Pheromone Wipes" for only $2 at a vending machine in the toilets. Then stroll out to the bar and try your luck. If you're a guy, and you seem to be attracting only guys, you've either gone to the wrong toilet and got the wrong wipe, or you're in a gay bar!
  Mad Gorgon [6 Jan 2003]
• The Thing People are Looking At! - Be bewildered as you see a group of people staring at something in the sky. Be confused when you don't see what they're looking at. Be embarressed when you realize it was all a joke. Have revenge when you and the next group look up in the sky, attracting a new batch of thrill seekers!
  Johnny Casino [6 Jan 2003]
• The Wedgie - A rollercoaster with seats that mold right up into your ass. Lots of bumps and loops to make sure that seat pushes your underwear up way too far. Don't forget the camera at the end that catches you picking it as you leave the ride. Copies available at the end of the ride, for all to see.
  Qwerty Smith [6 Jan 2003]
• The Thunder Buster - roller coaster for those who can't hanndle the speed or the ups and downs. This baby will thrill you with walking pace cars that circle an ovel shaped flat track.
  Zyaussie [6 Jan 2003]
• Dodgy Cars - Have fun trying to get these suckers started, let alone driving and bumping.
  Robbie Mac [6 Jan 2003]
• The Kinda Haunted House - Strange noises emanate from within the walls of this house, trash appears from nowhere, but nobody seems to have ever lived here. It that the moaning of the dead or is somebody playing Areosmith at three am?
  Robespierre Mullet [6 Jan 2003]
• The Doesn'tmatterhorn - he most indefferent rollercoaster ever built.
  Robespierre Mullet [6 Jan 2003]
• Hall of Almost Presidents - n animatronic gallery featuring failed coup plotters, also rans, minority party leaders and George W. Bush.
  Robespierre Mullet [6 Jan 2003]
• Shopping Trolley World - Payback time , see how many little old ladies you can run into with your shopping trolley as you cruise the aisles.
  Zyaussie [6 Jan 2003]
• Gallery of Obscene Hoses - ee hoses of all varieties twisted into various shapes. Puzzling! Amazing!
  Robespierre Mullet [6 Jan 2003]
• The Human Mundane Oddities - See Numero the Astonishing Accountant juggle the numbers to lower your taxes- legally! Thrill as Terry the Amazing Tech Support Person explains how e-mail works to your mother! Witness the awesome spectacle of Wonderboy the Grocery Bagger as he consistently places the bread and eggs on top of the canned goods!
  Robespierre Mullet [6 Jan 2003]
• Jailland - Experience the thrill of being a con! Try out the "shower room" but don't pick up that bar of soap!
  Rebekah Webb [6 Jan 2003]
• The Itch - The wounderfull water ride, complete with water ticks and fleas to really get u itching with excitment.
  Jon 'MurderDoll' Lambell [6 Jan 2003]
• The Restroom - For guys, brave The Stench, play How's Your Aim and Guess What He Ate, or simply marvel at The Unflushable. Ladies, queue for three hours to see the Skinny Bitch (you'll be talking about her for the rest of the day) and return to your boyfriend with so much make up on he'll think you've been to one of those face painting stands for 6 year olds.
  Andy [6 Jan 2003]
• Crash Test Dummies A gogo - This thrilling ride allows you to be strapped into a brand new, promo type car. This is then propelled at enormous speeds into a solid wall... Shmack!! You now have experienced the crash test!
  Nyght [1 Feb 2003]
• Sluts R Us - There's this special corner on a special road with a bunch of very horny women aged 16 to 24. Enjoy!
  Goldfish Poodle Boy [5 Apr 2003]
• Death Drop Supreme - The tallest, fastest ride in the world. Haven't seen anyone live to tell about it, though.
  CozB [11 May 2003]
• Mullet Land - A place where all the mullets of Earth can come together to socialise, breed and crush beer cans on their foreheads. Minimun entry six inches.
  jeff nelson [26 Aug 2003]
• Launch Land - Crap your shorts as you are launched 110 feet into the air and dropped.
  bryant stewart [27 May 2005]
• Crappyfloss - Like candyfloss, only sugar free so it tastes like pure crap.
  david arnold [13 Jun 2005]
• Ride the DILDO For te ultimate thrill, ride our new Woodie-the Dildo. Many of our riders prefer to ride it in the back...are you brave enough to try?
  Fraser Grant [15 Feb 2008]
• The Orgocoaster! The worlds first Indoor Coaster through the set of a Porno movie with many realistic animatronics! In the event of a sticky suprise, tissues are located in the rear pocket of the car in front!
  Peter Wittland [17 Feb 2008]
• Panty Raid-The Ride-- College fraternity antics have been a tradition for well over a half century, now one of the most well loved antics has become a ride. After climbing into your bed shape flume, you take a nice leisurely ride through the dorms, until you come to the infamous Panty Pi women's dorm. At that point, you are spotted by one of the Amazonian women, and to escape from her savage beating, and the beatings of other angry, half naked, bi-curious women, you go through the laundry chute and splashdown in all of their panties. Not only do you come out with a smile on your face, but with a pair of undies to show the boys in the frat house you did it!
  Tim W/ [18 Feb 2008]

What Attractions Do You Want To See?

Gorsky Park plans to be everything to everyone, so send us your suggested attractions, and we'll add the best to GORSKYS.COMedy.