Effective Feng Shui Ideas

Getting rid of all your furniture is great feng shui.

Your Feng Shui Advice

• Sending in your weekly footy tips purposely after the weekend round is finished will keep your "winning energy" flowing and also your "fulla' bullshit energy" flowing when you return such excuses to the person in charge of the comp like "I sent them Friday and they musn't of reached you till Monday, what a coincidence!" or "You're picking on me purposely because I got more than you, I'm suing for discrimination!" or a least it will keeep your "fun energy" happening.
  Mike R [6 Jan 2003]
• The closer the toilet is to the tv the more comfort energy your house will create.
  chog the frog [6 Jan 2003]
• The ritual consumption of fourteen beers before entering the bedroom will facilitate the entry of the sleep spirit. (A bucket placed by the bed can help avoid carpet stains).
  Franklin Pierce [6 Jan 2003]
• Carefully placed concealed video cameras can add spice to your sex life, or at least let you turn a buck placing footage on the Internet after you break up.
  Franklin Pierce [6 Jan 2003]
• The presence of rapidly-rotating, razor-sharp blades generally indicates a bad place to put your penis.
  Franklin Pierce [But a great place to put your ex-boyfriend's penis once you've discovered his video cameras, Franklin - Liam] [6 Jan 2003]
• The floor is actually one giant table-top.
  D Seebs [6 Jan 2003]
• "Christening" each room in your house creates good feng shui.
  Kaite F [6 Jan 2003]
• Piling up dishes in the sink will bring on the "I feel like I have a lot of fulfilling things to do enery"
  nailvarnish [6 Jan 2003]
• Catapults, Balisstas and other war machines are perfect for getting rid of those "Girl Scout Cookie Wielding Demons" and may also increase "fun energy".
  King ME [6 Jan 2003]
• Place paper on floor or a bucket directly under your mouth before seeing that person or persons you happen to think is hot to avoid spillige.
  Nicorifice [6 Jan 2003]
• Hanging clothes in the wardrobe may be good for the no-crease factor, but hanging them on the floor just under where you took them off creates "good floor vibes" and helps cover those carpet stains from the beer drinking.
  Briony Shepherd [6 Jan 2003]
• Cleaning is a dull chore, but recovering money from down the back of the sofa is an excellent way to keep the "piggy bank chi" flowing
  Briony Shepherd [6 Jan 2003]
• A weekly rotation of fruit and vegetables through the fridge can ward of the evil spirit of decay.
  Andrew Kent [6 Jan 2003]
• Fridge Shui - Keep the big pig energy flowing, by giving each of the 5 major food groups has it's own shelf. Can be difficult in shared accommodation where the fridge is organized on purely capitalist ideals of ownership.
  Mad Gorgan [6 Jan 2003]
• Fang Shui - Let loose your pit bull on hapless mailmen. Great for your fun shui but not if you want to get in touch with your mail side.
  Mad Gorgan [6 Jan 2003]
• The southern area of the house is the career section, which resonates to the element of fire. If your career is in the dumps, just set this room ablaze and ... VOILA a new job is guaranteed!
  deeniel [6 Jan 2003]
• Nail your doors shut. This stops evil persons (bastards you don't like) ever entering. What about friends you ask? Screw them as well, who knows what hidden agendas they may have!
  Andrew Brisbane [6 Jan 2003]
• Place pictures of your eX girlfriend/wife on each wall. This may not get rid of bad spirits but certainly draw them to a single point. Avoid entering that particular room yourself.
  Andrew Brisbane [6 Jan 2003]
• Place a "No Bad Energy" sign next to the "No Junk Mail" sign of your letterbox. Hell, we all know they work...don't they?
  Andrew Brisbane [6 Jan 2003]
• Lighting small fires around the house will ward off evil 'oxygen' spirits leaving you and your family happy and free of fear.
  sexy clown [6 Jan 2003]
• Wrapping your pets in cling film or gaffa tape and hanging them from the ceiling will make them look like pinyadas. Pinyadas are full of candy, and thats got to be good feng shui.
  sexy clown [6 Jan 2003]
• Fed up with bad aim in the toilet? Get married, and harmonize the demon of spilled wizz with the spousal rubber gloves of cleanser. All without leaving the couch.
  Peter van der Linden [6 Jan 2003]
• Placing a toilet in a room where there is no plumbing will encourage "bad stench" energy into that room.
  delusionsofgrandeur [6 Jan 2003]
• Feng Shui is Chinese for "Guys Crap goes in the Garage"
  David Robinson [19 Feb 2003]
• The presence of bikini wax at a bachelor's apartment might indicate a lack of "straight energy".
  Amit B. [29 Apr 2003]
• Placing a mirror on the front entrance of the house will prevent evil spirits from commuting all the way to the bathroom to look at themselves.
  Amit B. [29 Apr 2003]
• Having the entrance facing the south will prevent unwanted spirits from entering from the north.
  Amit B. [29 Apr 2003]
• Go to a rich persons house and pass yourself off as an expert in feng shui! When they're not looking, steal their furniture. Having new 'free' furniture will make arranging your old furniture seem a lot less important.
  scott quick [27 Jul 2003]
• Tape pictures of your old boyfriends on the inside of your front door. Meditate momentarily on those photos before you leave your home. This will remind you constantly not to drag home another loser.
  Renee All Day All Day [28 Oct 2003]
• Clean out your wardrobe and donate, sell or give away every item that you don't enjoy wearing and which doesn't fit you right now. Creating a vacumn allows room for the new to enter your life
  Debra Jarvis [10 Apr 2004]
• Placing stolen goods in all rooms of the house creates a good "rich and bored energy" but may attract evil "police" and other "law enforcing spirits"
  Winona Ryder [7 Jun 2004]
• Having a person flop on your couch over a period of time drives away negative loneliness spirits, keeps the spirit of decay out of your refrigerator and creates a new spirit of the potato. Hardware requirements: Remote Control, TV/DVD with CABLE or Dish.
  Christine Fuller [6 Mar 2005]
• Paint the walls of your kitchen a dark colour so the dirt can't be seen. That will be $500.
  david arnold [15 Jun 2005]
• If your bathroom is situated directly above a bedroom, peeing on walls, rather than in the toilet, will prevent the "evil john energy" from flushing your wealth down the toilet. Also, since urine is sterile, you won't have to use your cling-wrap to protect the various surfaces from "dirt energy".
  joe sotham [17 Jun 2005]

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