Where Evolution Is Taking the Human Race

The father of evolution, Charles Darwin, demonstrates his theory that hair doesn't fall out, but rather, grows down as men age.

Other things that will evolve

• That little 2 inch bone in our backs that prevents men from blowing themselves will disappear. If that is the case, guys might have something better to do than reading this site.
  Aaron McCully [13 Sep 2004]
• There will be a patch for everything...medicine, food, erectile dysfunction, etc. There will even be a patch to help you "kick the patch" habit, but the new Sony music patch will somehow NEVER catch on!
  Scott (formerly scott) [14 Sep 2004]
• All religions will be combined into one religion that finally makes sense...and it will be called "Modern Day Saints for JUST DON'T BE AN ASS-HOLE!"
  Scott (formerly scott) [14 Sep 2004]
• People in America will become so bad at voting that the President will be chosen by a special episode of Star Search...and somehow Florida will screw that up also!
  Scott (formerly scott) [14 Sep 2004]
• we will all grow those vibrating muscle thingys so we will never have to exercise again
  Jenny johns [14 Sep 2004]
• We will go backwards - we will evolve into water creatures, because of global warming that is where we will be very soon.
  HpN [15 Sep 2004]
• Men's penises will vibrate to accomodate women's ever-increasing demand for vibrators
  farooq [16 Sep 2004]
• People will grow thinner aems so you get arm rest at the cinema
  chris gillard [18 Sep 2004]
• Humans will develop telekinetic powers to aid us in the ever recurring quest for the remote-control. This is also great for the journey of the guy-too-lazy-to-go-to-the-fridge-to-get-food-at-halftime. he can simply levitate the fridge TO him.
  Agentguy The Sheep [20 Sep 2004]
• We will develop ear flaps that close anytime we start to hear anything we don't want to hear, and lips that temporarily seal whenever we're about to make an ass of ourselves.
  Tower [20 Sep 2004]
• Utimately humans will be 'evolved' into three groups or shall we call them 'castes' - one will be the physical caste (strong bodies, strength etc) - your sportsmen, soldiers, trench diggers etc, the others would be your intellectuals (strong minded computer types) Your bankers, IT blokes etc. and the third one will be gorskys.com fans who the other castes will constantly try to destroy in order to futher better humanity.
  Capt Nemo [21 Sep 2004]
• People will have wheels on their feet to save precious energy previously wasted on walking.
  Switch Laffalot - I return! [21 Sep 2004]
• 1 out of 20 people will be able to transform into a giant boat so that everyone can survive the flash-floods.
  Switch Laffalot [21 Sep 2004]
• Matrix Cyber-Punk Wannabes will be born with shades and black trenchcoats.
  Switch Laffalot [21 Sep 2004]
• After years of being thwarted by the police for trying to assasinate George W Bush, Democrats will finally evolve built-in-clones to be the perfect cover!
  Some Weird Guy [26 Sep 2004]
• Men will develope foot long tongues to satify girls. And there will be another "split" of the human race. There will be the lower class "human apes" who will shine my great great great great great great grandchildrens shoes, dig ditches, and other heavy labor then there will be the real humans.
  wanker mcjackass har [27 Sep 2004]
• Scientists will discover the portion of the brain that causes headaches and neutralise it - thereby improving the sex lives of 80% of married males
  Capt Nemo [12 Oct 2004]
• Humans will evolve...*drumroll*...the BOOZE GLAND!!! (Unlimited production of alcohol and alcohol by-products)
  Some Weird Guy [18 Oct 2004]
• Human males will learn how to aim in bed. There will be no more fake orgasms. And everyone will be happy. Except for the nerdy guys over there who, despite being perfectly capable, will never have the chance to reproduce.
  Goldfish Poodle Boy [23 Oct 2004]
• Human males will develop laser pointers on the end of their penis to ensure they never miss the toilet again. Excessive alcohol consumption may still be proven to negate this evolutionary feat.
  CozB [23 Oct 2004]
• Due to fear of being wimpy, humans will exercise more. Thus, they will grow as strong as their primal ancestors. Shop lifting will once again literally involve lifting a shop.
  CozB [26 Oct 2004]
• We'll all grow defense systems in our fingers that prevent us from typing like complete and utter n00bs (more commonly known as retards)
  Silent Dan [27 Oct 2004]
• The human race will one day evolve a Siamese nerd twin that will do all the shitty homework while the main human plays games and has fun.
  Kyle McNallen [27 Oct 2004]
• People will develop sonar like bats so they will be able to navigate through crowded places without continually bumping into others.
  Lee Wardle [28 Oct 2004]
• Poeple will become smart, but blondes have no hope.
  Bird Dog [1 Nov 2004]
• Humans will develep in-built alarm systems to detect whether the person they are communicating with is boring.
  Yen Buddhist [7 Nov 2004]
• As butts grow larger, humans will grow a windshield wiper between their cracks, so they don't have to reach around to wipe.
  Forsight Future [4 Dec 2004]
• Men will grow a brain.
  dick-man-pike g-morn-have-it [14 Feb 2005]
• Cell phones will be genetically grafted into the right hand of men giving "rise" to a new meaning for "call" girls. Sorry, no cameras will be allowed in the future cell world!
  Cornelius [17 Feb 2005]
• Crowded elevators will automatically deodorise everybody below the waist to give midgets a fair go
  mick knight [25 Feb 2005]
• The world will be thrown into an age where computer nerds rule the earth.
  S [5 Apr 2005]
• we'll all die
  ko [19 Apr 2005]
• All men's dominant arms will develop a muscle capable of moving the wrist back and forth at super-sonic speeds, enabling them to masturbate faster.
  Tyler I don't know what a surname is [25 Apr 2005]
• Women will have toilet seats growing on their arses so they won't have to keep bitching to men about putting it down after use!
  Cyn Icle [4 May 2005]
• Humans will devise computers to do absolutley everything and have to build infintely larger houses to make room for our increasingly large buttocks
  Nancy Indy500 [6 May 2005]
• Mouths will turn into a small black line, noses will turn into a small black line, eyes will become big and bubbly and everyone's hair will be perfect when humans finally evolve into anime.
  Almighty Ruler Of The Universe [8 May 2005]
• Eventually ESP will develop, allowing people to read each other's minds. When this happens, women will find out what men are really thinking, thus ending the human race through failure to reproduce.
  Shotgun Jhonny [27 May 2005]
• Men will be 100% sure of when women are faking an orgasm.
  martin scarbrough [11 Jun 2005]
• The human race will evolve to the stage where women can talk about sports and get you a beer
  martin scarbrough [11 Jun 2005]
• Men will grow extra arms and penises and several more eyes to masturbate to many porn sites at any given moment.
  Kurt I'm not telling . . . [11 Jul 2005]
• The man of the future has a radio built into his ear, a phone in his finger tips and TV in his stomach. But what a pain in the arse getting a fax must be.
  jess l [1 Aug 2005]
• We'll grow extensive brains that will know the cure for cancer. And then we'll all die anyway.
  Your Mom [16 Aug 2005]
• Men will claim the ability to have multiple orgasms. Women will have a mute button.
  Mike Smith [18 Aug 2005]
• humans will devlop ear flaps to prevent them from going deaf, the entire world will be owned by disney, it's a small small world.....
  fat boy will [27 Sep 2005]
• Humans will grow Black Berries in their palms and an extra pairs of eyes on top of their heads so they can actually see where they're going
  Adriana [16 Feb 2006]
• Mankind will naturally produce alcohol and then we can all say that we've pissed our life away on booze.
  Russell Finch [24 Feb 2006]

What do you think will happen to humans?

How do you think people will evolve? Send your suggenstions, and we'll add the ones that make us laugh to GORSKYS.COMedy