It’s election time. Australia is in the middle of a political orgy which most people don’t want to be part of.
It’s not that people don’t care; it’s just the election is so BORING!
This is what we’d like to hear the major parties leaders say to spice it up a little.
We want to hear John Howard say:
- We failed on aged care and health. We stuffed up on unemployment. So we thought “What the hell, we can’t do any worse, let’s try a GST.”
- I would have forced Miss Lewinsky to swallow, then burned her dress
- GST is as crap as a large bucket full of crap, times eight.
- I want to go bald with style. As of now, I stop the swoop. It’s not fooling anyone anyway.
- This is a core promise: from now on, I will cease to make non-core promises.
- A vote for me is a vote for Peter Costello.
We want to hear Kim Beazley say:
- Marijuana? Whatever you do, don’t inhale.
- Food? Whatever you do, don’t inhale.
- I would have barbequed Miss Lewinsky then swallowed her dress. I get hungry, you know.
- I vow to make Jenny Craig GST free.
- Ten years ago, I liked GST, but things were different then; the Liberals were opposed.
You’ll see we’ve ignored One Nation. We only want major leaders, not major fruit cakes.
