We all know that “coffee” is the big dating double entendre.
“Would you like to come in for coffee?” ain’t the same as “would you like to come in for a cup of coffee?”
Many people think they’re in interchangeable, but they’re wrong.
“A cup of coffee” means a cup of coffee. “Coffee” means sex.
This month, we look at reasons why a cup of coffee is better than an offer of sex.
- A long black coffee is in fact long and black.
- A capuccino is a guarantee of good head.
- Coffee keeps you up all night. Sex makes you sleep.
- You can always start the day with good coffee.
- Coffee doesn’t leave hairs in your teeth.
- Coffee always goes down smoothly.
- Drinking coffee on your own doesn’t make you feel like a sad loser. Sex on you own does.
- You don’t get into trouble for having coffee in front of your parents.
- Spliing coffee in your bed leaves a wet patch, but you hardly ever spill it. There’s always a wet patch after sex.
- You can have great coffee with your sister.
- There’s no moral or ethical dilemma in paying for coffee.
- Coffee tastes great.
- A cup of coffee never complains if you want another. Sexual partners do.
- No one calls you weird for wanting your coffee with milk. Combining sex and milk is an official fetish.
- It’s forbidden to covet your neighbour’s ass, but the Bible doesn’t mention his coffee.
- You can make coffee last as long as you want.
- Cofffee doesn’t smell bad in the morning.
- It’s OK for semen to taste of coffee. It’s not OK for coffee to taste like semen.
- It is possible to drink a cup of coffee even when you’re really tanked.