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A girl |
In the ever-changing world of computers, one thing remains constant. Geeks.
Unchanged since the mid-1960's the computer geek is easily identified by the flannelette shirt, greasy hair, smelly feet, pizza stained track-suit pants and nerdy spectacles.
But now, the computer geek is coming under threat from a force more insidious than even the most pernicious virus.
Girls.
The Internet is, for the first time, exposing geeks to girls in a meaningful way.
Until 1994, most computer geeks only saw girls when they bumped into their sisters leaving the bathroom. Or when they downloaded the latest in cyber-porn. (Of course, early cyber-porn existed only as ASCI art and smilieys and was only classified as 'pictures of naked women' by the fertile imaginations of the total geeks who downloaded it.)
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Now, a counseling service has been set up by prominent psychologist Jan Svelte, to help nerds get over the shock of their first on-line encounter with 'girl germs'.
"It can be a deeply distressing thing for a young hacker to meet a girl on the Internet", says Dr Svelte. "As a concept, geeks know they should find girls attractive. But in reality, they're more interested in her hard-drive and RAM than anything."
Steve, a long-term geek, actually has a girlfriend. "She's a real 36, 24, 36." He says, "36 MB RAM, 24 GB Hard Drive, 36 MB Netscape cache. We're going to get married as soon as I upgrade my co-processor."
When asked to comment, the Prime Minister, Mr. Howard, tried to change the topic to tariff protection of the Australian car industry.
"That's at least a topic I almost understand," he said.
