Recipe Selections For The Young Bachelor

November 1st, 2000
liam passed out Recipe Selections For The Young Bachelor

Liam rests after a long day of slaving over a cold fridge.

We’ve all been bachelors at some time in our lives. Except if we’re girls. In which case we were bitchelors.

It’s important to have a balanced diet, with the right mix of the five food groups.

Sadly, many young men ignore this advice and subsist only on McDonalds. It’s a well known fact that a Big Mac is not in fact a member of ANY food group.

This month, we come to the aid of the malnourished bachelor and bachelorette.

  • Make your own bread – add beer to flour, bake in the oven, and voila! Alcoholic bread.
  • Beer is vegetarian, so can be used as a substitute for vegetables in any recipe.
  • Beer Naturale – Add beer to your beer for an extra tasty treat.
  • Beer soup – Pour beer into a soup bowl, microwave for 30 seconds and eat. Delicious with a glass of cold beer.
  • Beer gazpacho soup – Pour cold beer into a soup bowl and eat. No glass of beer or microwave required.
  • With Coca Cola prices rising, add 96 teaspoons of sugar to beer and stir for the perfect substitute.
  • Fried beer – like fried ice cream, but more mysterious.
  • Beer with one – Coffee with beer and one sugar.
  • Beer with two – Beer with two more beers.
  • Beer flambé – Pour beer into glass. Add lighted match. Remove sodden match stick. Drink.
  • No need for flat lemonade when you have gastro, drink the dregs from half-finished beers the morning after a big party.
  • Feeling seedy? Drink beer with multi-vitamin capsule dissolved in it for a healthy alternative to beer.
  • Home brewed beer is great, but often hard to make. Simplify the process. Stick your own labels on whatever beer is in the fridge.
  • Beer candy – Soak M&Ms in beer overnight for a chocolatey treat.
  • Beer babies – Inject jelly babies with beer. Squeeze for amusing uriniation effect.

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Recipe Selections For The Young Bachelor

Your suggestions

  1. Beer Hairspray (patent pending) – Dissolve 4 cups of sugar with a six-pack of beer, leave to ferment for a couple of weeks then put in garden spray bottle.
    Works better than gel!

    Current score: 0

    Sean Bailey [05/01/2003]

  2. Spilled Beer – Pour out several cans of beer onto a very expensive rug. Let soak overnight, then add more beer. Do this for about a week, then chew on the carpet untill you are intoxicated. A new definition of carpet munching.

    Current score: 0

    Professor Jeeves [05/01/2003]

  3. Beer Fountain Pens — Fill them with beer, and write or drink!!!

    Current score: 0

    Mike Milone [05/01/2003]

  4. Beer Bong (literally) – Use beer instead of bong water then smoke. Once finished drink.
    Bon Appetite.

    Current score: 0

    Anton Heath [05/01/2003]

  5. In olden days the fermentaion of cider (scrumpy) was started with the insertation of a dead rat. By accident I have found this is very efficacious in home-brewing of beer. Gives the product both body and intensity of flavour. Highly recommended!

    Current score: 0

    Rik Unwin [05/01/2003]

  6. Add beer to tobbaco and get drunk while smoking

    Current score: 0

    Timmy h [05/01/2003]

  7. Beer Cocktail – Mix 2 parts Bud to 1 part Coors and 1 part Labatts. Drink.

    Current score: 0

    John Elliott [05/01/2003]

  8. Beer Muffins – Equivalent to Mull Muffins only these get you drunk….not stoned

    Current score: 0

    Kaite F [05/01/2003]

  9. Beer Sandwich – 1 bottle of beer placed between 2 hands…Enjoy & Bon Appetite!!!

    Current score: 0

    Alan Hill [05/01/2003]

  10. For Fruit Lovers:-
    1 punnet strawberries. As much beer as fancied. Place strawberries in large sealable bottle – top with beer of choice – leave 1 week – throw out strawberries – enjoy beer with hint of strawberry.

    Current score: 0

    Sandra Anne Kidd [05/01/2003]

  11. Go with beer salad…. those vinegarette and ranch dressings just don’t work for me. Place vegetables in bowl (or not) and shake with beer.

    Current score: 0

    Amanda J [05/01/2003]

  12. Beer slushy – would have been big at K-Mart. just take bottle of beer and place in freezer for about an hour. if too long, will be frozen solid, so supervision is suggested.

    Current score: 0

    afroman jones [05/01/2003]

  13. Soak blu-tac in beer.
    Voila! Beer chewy!

    Current score: 0

    Tommohawk [05/01/2003]

  14. Beer Aroma – for that original pub smell, take an oil burner, slowly pour your favourite beer and light candle, instant pub smell in you home.

    Current score: 0

    Shimma [05/01/2003]

  15. Beer chaser – Feel like you need a bit of exercise? Simply tie your beer to the fastest dog in the neighbourhood and then hit it. Hours of energetic fun getting to your beer!

    (Also quite fun opening the seriously shaken cans)

    (PS Love the beer babies!)

    Current score: 0

    Simon O’Connor [05/01/2003]

  16. Go for an international fare. If you’re in the mood for Mexican, have la cerveza. Italian, have la birra. For French cuisine, enjoy une biere.

    Current score: 0

    Nikki Lawrence [05/01/2003]

  17. Lunch or Snacks Any Time:
    Malt sandwiches – how many do you want?
    Drink – as much beer as you like – from the bottle/can/glass etc. Very nourishing, especially home brew, which has all the vitamin B you need. Cheers!!

    Current score: 0

    David Husband (Hoss) [05/01/2003]

  18. My granddad gave me this recipe for carp.
    Grind one carp into burger, bones and all.
    Arrange ground carp on oak board making a ridge around the edge.
    Pour several bottles of beer on the carp and marinate for 24 hours.
    Bake 350 deg. oven for 45 min.
    Scrape the damnd fish off of the board and eat the beer-soaked board.

    Current score: 0

    Bob Lindel [05/01/2003]

  19. I like to have a Guinness for breakfast. Liquid bread!

    Current score: 0

    Bryan Deno [05/01/2003]

  20. Beer-Jelly. Make jelly as normal substituting beer for water,great first thing in the morning. slides down easily.

    Current score: 0

    Frank Hayes [05/01/2003]

  21. Beer Baby – Fill balloons with beer. Place filled balloons in a nursing bra. Put nursing bra on your favorite infaltable girlfriend. Poke hole in balloon. Enjoy!

    Current score: 0

    Steve Uptegraft [05/01/2003]

  22. ch one end of catheter to member (ow!) and other end to filtration unit.
    Drink all the beer
    Urinate as needed
    Drink filtered urine which is really just beer.
    Repeat

    Current score: 0

    David Brock [05/01/2003]

  23. My recipe requires a one-time purchase of the following:
    1 case of beer (any brand)
    Water filtration unit (even your Brita water filter will do)
    Catheter

    Current score: 0

    Directions: [05/01/2003]

  24. Beer split – 3 scoops of your favorite ice cream topped with wbip cream and cherries… then pour beer over it and voila…

    Current score: 0

    Davy Wyllie [05/01/2003]

  25. Beer-cicle- pour beer into ice cube tray, enjoy.

    Current score: 0

    John Conlin [05/01/2003]

  26. Make own hard alcohol: Open bottle of beer, add sugar, let sit for 6 months. Enjoy.

    Current score: 0

    John Conlin [05/01/2003]

  27. Beer Sandwich: add 1/2 cup of flour to 1/2 cup of beer. Stir, place on bread. Enjoy.

    Current score: 0

    John Conlin [05/01/2003]

  28. Beerthday cake—take ordinary cake mix and substitute beer for all the water, and get a delightful alcoholic treat.

    Current score: 0

    nathan james dillaha [05/01/2003]

  29. Beerloaf – Take a big log of hamburger meat (if you are a vegetarian or can’t afford hamburger meat, bread will do) and dump beer on it. American beers seem to work the best, but whatever you do, don’t use Canadian beer.

    Current score: 0

    Nathan Randall [05/01/2003]

  30. A beer douche is always enjoyable.

    Current score: 0

    Patrice Taylor [05/01/2003]

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